Choices of the Heart
by Siha Krios
Summary: Sonya Shepard x Nihlus Kyik sequel to Strength of Heart After a death relationships need to be rebuilt Collectors need to be stopped A friend finds his way and does someone a special favor that may lead to something unexpected  smut/language/violence
1. Lazarus

"Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence" ~Vincent van Gogh

* * *

It is not so tender or delicate a thing, the heart, as many so believe. The heart endures much when called upon by necessity. There is a mighty strength within it's pink and deceptively vulnerable walls that empowers the greatest warrior to battle malevolent evil. The heart endows the forlorn with hope and the lost with a lighted path that may lead them home. It also lends it's capacity for unconditional love and selfless compassion to those who are often the ones taken most for granted; the child who holds mother as a god and father as a something to aspire to become. Yet the heart, for all it's valor, is tender and can be mortally wounded with a gentle touch where it withstands a heavy blow. In all these things beneath the roar it howls to keep pain at bay is a silence that seeks comfort of another in the darkness. For the heart loneliness is a damnation that it trades for it's might. So it hunts for others that will respond with love and not with hate, for that too is a power of the heart and just as strong. But hate has a weakness that is perceived as a flaw of love. Love is full where hate is empty, and a thing that is empty is easier to crush.

* * *

The wind was cool as it passed over him, the sun warmed him. The sound of the grasses on the high cliff whispered their reply to the softly crashing waves on the beach below in the eternal forbidden love between land and sea. He could smell the salt in the air, feel the soil beneath him warm and firm. His home lay minutes away, tucked into the hills with a view to the east of the Great City. He was most comfortable alone, though he was welcome within the walls of the city. He often traveled there and stayed with his father, but only for a few days. Even here he found it more peaceful away from the crowds of his people. In his heart he was alone in this place. Something, or someone tethered part of him to the world on the other side of the sea. It sounded like the sun and felt like the sea. I was warm and firm like the earth and soft like the tickle of the grass. It was both day and night, but there was no darkness there his sight could not penetrate.

As his mandibles spread in as smile at the thoughts, or dreams, or memory of a dream, the ground became harder and cold. The sun's light grew harsh and provided no comfort. The whispers were hisses and the crashing waves boomed like a great storm. The sky grew dark and he began to feel fear. He tried to sit, to open his eyes and run from whatever evil was coming toward him, but he could not move. The salt left the air and his tongue tasted metal in the air. A strong sterile scent replaced the fragrance of the grass. Then with a silence that echoed the sun's light was shut out and his world became darkness.

* * *

Nihlus opened his eyes. His water vision blurred the words stenciled in black on the white walls. The letters are not those of the turian language. His head pounded as if it would break. His heart ached as if it has never pumped blood. He felt weak and lifeless and his lungs stung when he took breath from the air. His body screamed it's protests as he sat up on the hard, cold surface on which he lay. His fingers felt numb as they dumbly attempted to grasp the edge of the table. He swung his legs slowly over the ledge and looked around to see where he was, for it was not where he was a moment ago. Though he could no more remember that than a dream from a lifetime ago. Nothing seemed familiar, yet he recognized the elongated hexagon painted on the walls. He heard breathing that wasn't his own and turned his head in that direction. A woman, human, with dark, piercing eyes that knew him in a creamy face with a halo of white hair. Her coral lips quivered above her stubborn chin. He would have called her 'angel' if not for the black uniform and yellow insignia that matched the symbol on the walls. His throat felt dry and weak when he tried to speak. The question came as a horse whisper that sounded gutturally from within him.

"Who... Who are you? Do... you... know me?"

"I do know you, Nihlus. I know you well." She answered.

He could hear the strain in her voice. She was holding back much. As the soft sound of her voice translated into sorrow in his ears, he began to remember the pain that had taken his life and the woman he'd spared for his love's sake. He had been brought back as she had been. He looked at her again with the memories of his life. She was older and time had not been kind. Stress wore itself on her face with a deep sorrow feeding her muted joy. His heart ached for the pain unknown that she had suffered. And she was still with Cerberus. He wondered if she had not yet defeated the Collectors, if he had only missed a few months of life and her stress had been amplified by his absence and worry of his resurrection. He hoped it had been so short a time, though he dreaded the doubt that a few months along could wear her down so. The spirit of her was still alive, but it was wounded. Though she was still ever lovely in his eyes, her beauty had matured.

"Sonya?" He asked.

Her face lit up with the hope she must have held in reserve if he should not remember her. She ran to him and threw her arms around him forcing a grunt from him. It hurt, but it was a welcome pain to hold her and he returned her embrace more gently. The sweet scent of her that he remembered so fondly was faint and tainted by the tang of long sadness of heart.

"How long...?" He croaked. He could feel her tears wet his neck.

"Five years. There were... complications." She whispered.

Her breath on his skin was like a gentle breeze coming to him from the sea.

"Is everything... in tact?" He teased.

"Yes." She scoffed, smiling and wiping the tears from her eyes as she pulled away. "Is that all you can think to say after five years?"

She handed him a cup of water and he drank it thirstily. His throat felt refreshed by the liquid coolness.

"It's a lot to swallow. It will take me some time."

"I understand." She reminded him.

He nodded. "Where are we? Are we still fighting the Collectors?"

"Hah," She half sighed half laughed. "We are safe. A lot has changed since those days on Illium." She warned and began the long explanation.

"I am still working with Cerberus, but the Normandy and her crew destroyed the Collectors long ago." She paused, searching his face and stared intently into his eyes. "The Reapers crossed out of Dark Space and slowly began what they meant to with Saren along the outer regions of the Terminus Systems. That was only a year ago. Since then the Citadel has been destroyed. The Council finally believed what I'd been telling them. They voted it to be a way to keep them from infiltrating the core of Citadel space, should they be able to reactivate the station. The Council is in hiding. The Alliance and Cerberus help each other, but remain separate forces. The Council races are working with the other species, including the rachni and the geth. 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'. We're still fighting. We've lost worlds. Earth was hit hard. As was Palavan and the asari worlds. There aren't many humans left."

"Sonya... I'm so sorry." He breathed.

"I've no tears left to cry. It's been a long five years.."

"Sonya..."

Nihlus got down slowly from the table. She rushed to aid him. He wrapped his arms around her, steadying himself against the table. She resisted at first. He could understand, but he wasn't going to let go. He felt her relax into him, then return the embrace with the strength of one who was surviving the destruction of life. He closed his eyes and held her.


	2. New Scars

Hours of tests after Shepard left him to the science team assigned to his resurrection and well being, Nihlus emerged a little stronger, sorer, and feeling a bit violated. The rehabilitation lab doctors released him to Shepard's charge with a smile and an all clear. He found her waiting for him just outside the doors with Miranda, who had also not avoided the stresses of Armageddon and time.

"It's good to have you back, Kryik." Miranda said.

"Thank you for making it possible." He offered her a half bow.

"You're welcome." Miranda nodded.

"I'll just leave you two alone." She said, glancing over to Shepard then back to the turian before leaving the room.

"Sorry about the tests. We want to make sure you're not going to fall apart. How are you feeling?" Shepard offered a smile.

"Sore, tired... even though I've been asleep for five years." He teased.

"I'm glad to see you're since of humor was recovered." Shepard replied. "What puts you in such good spirits?"

"I'm alive and with my life mate." He responded. "What is there to not be happy about? There's no time to lament what cannot be changed. A morose spirit makes easier prey for the Reapers."

"I suppose you're right." She shrugged.

He took her hand in his as they walked down the hall. She curled her fingers over his palm, but did not return the smile. It only seemed to sadden her. He waited until they reached her quarters to speak again. He knew they were her's because of the scent in the air. No one smelled quite as she did.

She retired to the shower room that made up one corner of the space. He was as sterilized as he'd ever been, so he climbed under the sheets of their bed. To him, it was still _their_ bed. When Sonya reappeared in a tank and boxers, she hesitated when she saw him laying there. For a few moments she busied herself with medial tasks, such as setting out a clean uniform for the next day and tidying up un-necessarily. He had to remind himself that it had been five years for her since anyone else was in her bed. Then the thought occurred to him that perhaps it hadn't. This worried him. Eventually she turned off the main light, leaving only the low glow of a lamp on the bed side table. She crawled in next to him, leaving several inches of space. It made him uncomfortable that she did not want to be near him, but he tried to be understanding.

"I love you." He purred, tentatively caressing her face.

She smiled faintly at him. Her eyes seemed to search him for something he couldn't get a feel for.

"I love you too, but..."

She adverted her eyes to the pillow. He withdrew his hand. Worry and fear tickled at his mind with paranoia. He tried to push the thoughts away, but the 'but...' at the end of her sentence that trailed off to silence was a needle in his heart and in his mind. Then he took her hand in his. He could not be angry with her if she had sought comfort from time to time with another. He had done so when she had died. Her time of loneliness and need were much greater than the stresses he had endured.

"I will not hold anything against you for which I have been forgiven." He told her, his mandibles spread in a loving grin.

"There is only room for one lover in my bed." She told him.

She looked at him with all sincerity and love he remembered from a time that was only hours ago for him. He moved in closer to nuzzle her forehead, but she turned away. He was taken aback by this and his brow plates furrowed. He smelled no other scent on her but her own.

"What is wrong?" He voiced his concern. "If you still love me... I will always love you, Sonya. There is nothing you could have done to change that. You are my life mate."

"Nihlus... you should rest."

She rolled over and put him to her back. In the dim light he saw the subtle scars on her body that were not from battle or from him. She had bonded with another turian! The realization angered him and he turned his back to her and glared at the wall.

"How could she?" He thought. "She was mine! She _is_ mine! But I was dead. I might not have come back. Can I really expect her to have remained alone and deny herself love and happiness if she found it? Where..."

"Are you still bound to him?" He asked in a low tone that was almost a whisper.

His heart beat hard in his chest as he waited for her answer. Waiting to learn if he had been replaced.

"I have not seen him since I left him in charge of the Normandy to come here. It has been many months." She answered with a sigh.

He rolled over quickly then, his peridot eyes blazing in the dark.

"Who did you leave in charge of the Normandy, Shepard?" He asked, unable to hide the anger from his voice.

Sonya rolled over to face him, fear and pain in her eyes. He knew the answer before she told him.

"Garrus Vakarian."


	3. Bathroom Battle

If his heart had been made of glass and dropped on the hard floor, it could not have shattered into more pieces. The 'why's flooded in with all the bitterness and agony that came with such questions.; Why had she continued the project to bring him back if she was with another? Why did she allow him in her bed if she was with another? Then the question came of 'what'; What had she done in order to convince Cerberus to raise him from the dead in the first place? He was not human and of no particular value to the human-centered organization. So many questions, but the one that burned brightest wasn't a question or a statement. It was more raw and more powerful, making any answer to the other inquiries moot. The pain of loosing her to one who had sworn to protect her. The one person he felt he could trust because he was her friend, and his. Garrus had done more than protect her. He had taken her from him. The traitor would pay.

"Garrus!" He growled.

He sat up in a flutter of sheets and stuffing from the mattress and pillows as his talons tore through the thin material, flinging the gutted pillows across the room. He moved over her without touching her and crossed the room. The door to the lavatory shut behind him, cutting off the light the spilled out into the darkened room. It did not shut out the swearing words and curses that the translator couldn't quite relate to a word or phrase in a human tongue. In the darkness she sat with eyes wide, gripping the sheets. Nihlus never lost his cool. A turian with his face was destroying her bathroom. Glass shattering, metal pipes being torn from the walls and ceramic tiles cracking. The water that flooded the wash room floor leaked out under the door and soaked the carpeting. The curses turned to inarticulate howls then quieted to sobs. She'd also never seen or heard him, or any turian cry. As afraid as she had been of his sudden temper, though she could understand his anger, hearing him express such pain and sorrow tore at her as viciously as if he had ripped his talons through her and not the pillows and mattress. She tired to burry her own sobs in what remained of her pillow.

Hours later she woke face down in a tear soaked cotton wad. The bathroom door was still sealed shut, but the noises and ceased. She dared to cross the room. Nearer to the door the carpet became cold with water and damp, then wetter until her feet splashed in squishy puddles. She opened the doors without knocking. Icy water rushed out, released from the metal damn that had held back the flood. The chill that ran up her goose bumped skin forced a shiver from her shoulders. Carefully she took a step inside, steadying herself against the door jam so she did not slip on the wet flooring. Nihlus sat on the floor with his back in the corner wedged between the sink and the wall on the far side of the room. He hugged his knees close to his chest and rested his head against them. His shoulders expanded and contracted in slow steady rhythm with his breathing. It killed her to see him like this. To see a great turian and a Spectre taken down my something like a broken heart, and it was her fault. Tears would have added their salt to the floor as she slowly made her way over to him if she had not spend so many already.

"Nihlus?"

She spoke just above a whisper as she glanced around at the destruction he'd wrought on the small space. The holes in the walls left the steel of the construction exposed. The shower stall had been reduced to a ragged platform with the drain pulled out. The toilet was across the room in pieces from where it should have been. Water fountained out of the floor and walls where the water pipes no longer connected to anything. The sink was missing chunks, but must have been among the last to feel his wrath, for it was still attached to the wall. The mirror above it, however, had not survived so well. From the pattern of the cracks and the large dent and traces of blue blood, she would have to guess a head but and done the job. Speckles of blue also colored the walls where the holes had been made. Some of it was lost to the water that washed it off the glass from the shower stall. She tried to avoid adding her own to the mix as she stepped over large pieces of glass to get to him. The cuts on his arms became more apparent as she neared him.

"_Spirits_! Nihlus, are you alright?"

She knelt beside him, ignoring the icy cold of the water soaking up into her clothing.

"Nihlus, I'm sorry. It took them so long... Whatever that _fucking_ asari did to you... They didn't know what to do. Nothing was damaged... I still don't know how they did it or what they did that brought you back. Garrus... it just happened. At first it was just for comfort, because he was my friend and I knew I could trust him. Then things changed... I can't tell you when or how or why. I don't know myself. It felt natural, almost as if he were you. I didn't really mean for it to happen. I... I'm... I'm so sorry. If they had figured it out sooner, if the Reapers hadn't come..."

"But he _wasn't_ me." Nihlus groaned from his folded arms. "The Reapers came, he was there and I was..."

"Nihlus, don't. Don't do this to yourself. _Please_."

She touched his arm. It was tense and rigged, betraying his apparent calm. He flinched and swatted her hand away. In the flash of motion she saw just how bad his wounds were. Blood painted his face blue instead of white. Shards of glass stuck in his ribs. For the first time she herd the raggedness with which his voice came.

"Nihlus, you're hurt. We need to get to the med-bay! Let's go."

She tried to pull his arm, to get him to stand up, but he pulled away. This wasn't going to be easy. She tried again and he growled at her.

"_Excuse _me?" She said. "Nihlus, I care about you, maybe more than you know. Just because I bonded with Garrus doesn't mean I stopped loving you. Now you are going with me to the infirmary if I have to knock you out and drag you there!"

The wind was knocked from her body as her back hit hard against the tile wall. Her feet hung loose in the air. His talons tug into her flesh hard enough to draw blood where he pined her arms to the wall. A few droplets of red mingled with blue and the purple hue that trailed down his arm and dripped into the water reminded him of how they had once been as one in such a mannar. It only angered him further that it had been taken from him. His face was less than an inch from hers, teeth bared, blood running over his glowering features.

"Just_ try it_!" He growled.

As she looked at him, his green eyes blazing with rage fueled by agony, she realized there was only one option. The fastest way to bring him to his knees was to hit the most tender spot. On a human male that would have been the groin. On Nihlus it was his battered and bleeding face. The face that was twisted and glaring at her. The wall behind her would not let her gain momentum, so she would have to use brute strength. She hoped it would be enough. She thrust her head forward as hard as she could, baring her teeth against the pain that shot through her from contact with his carapace. She hit the floor hard as he howled in pain and dropped her to grab his face, reeling back with the fresh, unexpected pain. She didn't wait for him to retaliate. She grabbed a loose pipe and swung it at his naked form as hard as she could. The force knocked him to the ground with a grunt. His arms shuddered when he tried to get up, then he collapse in the standing water.

There was no time to waste. Freshly resurrected, she wasn't sure if his body could handle the trauma it had endured. But there was no way she could drag a 115 kilogram male turian to the med-bay on her own. She did her best to prop his head up with a chunk of ceramic from the shower and dress his lower half before calling for aid. She went with them to the infirmary, but only stayed a few minutes. She was tired, cold and wet. She needed sleep. Everything else could wait until morning.


	4. Overheard

"So he knows."

"Yes."

"Apparently that didn't go so well."

"No. It didn't. What was you're first clue, _Mr. Obvious_?"

"_Hey_, don't take this out on_ me_. You're _lucky_ I'm here for you to yell at. Do you _know_ what the Reapers are _doing_ out there? Nothing we've found in that _damned _Collector base has... I shouldn't have said that. I know you have to be here and that you had to do what you felt you needed to. I'm sorry."

A brief paused and the sound of movement.

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. Let's just give it some time."

"We may not have time. If the Reapers find this station..."

"I know. We'll have to get him on the Normandy and get him out of here as soon as possible. I'll remain in command as long as you need me to, but the crew needs you. So does the Alliance. Cerberus has done there part. You've paid your dues. Leave this place and the Illusive Man behind. They won't stop helping the human survival cause just because you return to the Alliance. The Council is asking to have you back, even the turian. Anderson has offered to let us stay with him when we dock. He wants to see you... I need you too. The Normandy is cold."

"Garrus... I... I don't know. I'm so torn. I love you... but I thought he'd never come back. I... I still love him, too. I..."

The sound of soft sorrow echoed quietly in the dim light of the med-bay.

"I don't know what do do. It all seems so pointless if we're going to die anyway."

"Don't talk like that. We _will_ defeat the Reapers. Come on. We'll figure it out. For now, let's just get some rest. How bad is the washroom?"

"They're working on it. They had to take the carpet up. We'll be staying in another room until the repairs are..."

The words quiet then trail off as the couple leaves. The room is cold and the sheets are rough. The neck pillow to hold his head up to accommodate his fringe and collar is stiff and uncomfortable. Tears stream down the sides of his face from closed eyes. His heart is breaking and the pain hasn't subsided. The pain in his body is dulled by the steady flow of narcotics in his veins. He drifted off to a dreamless sleep as he took long, shuddered breaths, listening to the machines monitoring him and helping him stay alive.

* * *

"He should be ready to move by tomorrow. His recovery is coming along fine. We keep him sedated so he doesn't try anything rash. Are you sure you want to bring him on board the Normandy? He isn't mentally sound enough to enter battle."

"We have no choice. We need him."

"This station is fully armed. If we're discovered, we can defend ourselves."

"Against the Reapers?"

"He's safer here than on the front lines."

"Maybe we should let him stay. I'll come back with you. There isn't anything I can do here. He'll need time before we can talk again."

"We'll talk about it. I don't want you doing something you'll regret."

"I don't regret a thing."

"You're a bad liar."

"I have to check his read outs. I'll let you know if there are any changes."

"Thank you doctor."

A few moments later the voices start again.

"Garrus... He won't give up."

"What do you want? Do you want to go back to him? Remember, this started out as friends releasing tension. It was never supposed to come to this."

"But it has. I don't want to loose either of you."

"You can't have it both ways, my love."

"Oh, like saying that helps. Spirits above, Garrus! You're not making this any easier."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop that."

"What?"

"Apologizing for everything."

"I'm sorry."

"Gah!"

A chuckle echos, muted as if from under water or behind glass.

"I love you."

"Yeah, yeah... I love you too. Oh, Gare... I can't leave you."

"He has to understand that it's been five years. It was hard enough for you to adapt to a two year change. It will be harder for him to accept five. A lot has happened since then; the Collectors, Thane, me, the Reapers... I don't blame him for taking it hard."

"He doesn't know about Thane."

"You didn't tell him?"

"I didn't see the point. Thane's dead. Nihlus doesn't need to know anything else. It would only make things worse."

It did. His talons clench unter the rough medical sheets. Was there anyone she _hadn't_ fucked?

"Yeah. Let's go. It's not healthy for you to come here all the time. There's a turian right here who needs you. Let me love you tonight."

Nihlus scoffs in his mind, "What a shitty line."

"That's the best you've got?"

"We've been bonded a while. I'm running low on material."

"Poor excuse... Come on. I need help getting to sleep anyway."

"Gee, _thanks_, Captain. Glad to be of service."

He herd her laughter as it faded away. He hated it. Hated the turian about to bed his mate. Hated the harlot who has ruined him. He wished for death, that he had been left dead.

"So he knows."

"Yes."

"Apparently that didn't go so well."

"No. It didn't. What was you're first clue, _Mr. Obvious_?"

"_Hey_, don't take this out on_ me_. You're _lucky_ I'm here for you to yell at. Do you _know_ what the Reapers are _doing_ out there? Nothing we've found in that _damned _Collector base has... I shouldn't have said that. I know you have to be here and that you had to do what you felt you needed to. I'm sorry."

A brief paused and the sound of movement.

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. Let's just give it some time."

"We may not have time. If the Reapers find this station..."

"I know. We'll have to get him on the Normandy and get him out of here as soon as possible. I'll remain in command as long as you need me to, but the crew needs you. So does the Alliance. Cerberus has done there part. You've paid your dues. Leave this place and the Illusive Man behind. They won't stop helping the human survival cause just because you return to the Alliance. The Council is asking to have you back, even the turian. Anderson has offered to let us stay with him when we dock. He wants to see you... I need you too. The Normandy is cold."

"Garrus... I... I don't know. I'm so torn. I love you... but I thought he'd never come back. I... I still love him, too. I..."

The sound of soft sorrow echoed quietly in the dim light of the med-bay.

"I don't know what do do. It all seems so pointless if we're going to die anyway."

"Don't talk like that. We _will_ defeat the Reapers. Come on. We'll figure it out. For now, let's just get some rest. How bad is the washroom?"

"They're working on it. They had to take the carpet up. We'll be staying in another room until the repairs are..."

The words quiet then trail off as the couple leaves. The room is cold and the sheets are rough. The neck pillow to hold his head up to accommodate his fringe and collar is stiff and uncomfortable. Tears stream down the sides of his face from closed eyes. His heart is breaking and the pain hasn't subsided. The pain in his body is dulled by the steady flow of narcotics in his veins. He drifted off to a dreamless sleep as he took long, shuddered breaths, listening to the machines monitoring him and helping him stay alive.

* * *

"He should be ready to move by tomorrow. His recovery is coming along fine. We keep him sedated so he doesn't try anything rash. Are you sure you want to bring him on board the Normandy? He isn't mentally sound enough to enter battle."

"We have no choice. We need him."

"This station is fully armed. If we're discovered, we can defend ourselves."

"Against the Reapers?"

"He's safer here than on the front lines."

"Maybe we should let him stay. I'll come back with you. There isn't anything I can do here. He'll need time before we can talk again."

"We'll talk about it. I don't want you doing something you'll regret."

"I don't regret a thing."

"You're a bad liar."

"I have to check his read outs. I'll let you know if there are any changes."

"Thank you doctor."

A few moments later the voices start again.

"Garrus... He won't give up."

"What do you want? Do you want to go back to him? Remember, this started out as friends releasing tension. It was never supposed to come to this."

"But it has. I don't want to loose either of you."

"You can't have it both ways, my love."

"Oh, like saying that helps. Spirits above, Garrus! You're not making this any easier."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop that."

"What?"

"Apologizing for everything."

"I'm sorry."

"Gah!"

A chuckle echos, muted as if from under water or behind glass.

"I love you."

"Yeah, yeah... I love you too. Oh, Gare... I can't leave you."

"He has to understand that it's been five years. It was hard enough for you to adapt to a two year change. It will be harder for him to accept five. A lot has happened since then; the Collectors, Thane, me, the Reapers... I don't blame him for taking it hard."

"He doesn't know about Thane."

"You didn't tell him?"

"I didn't see the point. Thane's dead. Nihlus doesn't need to know anything else. It would only make things worse."

It did. His talons clench unter the rough medical sheets. Was there anyone she _hadn't_ fucked?

"Yeah. Let's go. It's not healthy for you to come here all the time. There's a turian right here who needs you. Let me love you tonight."

Nihlus scoffs in his mind, "What a shitty line."

"That's the best you've got?"

"We've been bonded a while. I'm running low on material."

"Poor excuse... Come on. I need help getting to sleep anyway."

"Gee, _thanks_, Captain. Glad to be of service."

He herd her laughter as it faded away. He hated it. Hated the turian about to bed his mate. Hated the harlot who has ruined him. He wished for death, that he had been left dead.


	5. Kelly's Suggestion

The ground rocked hard enough to throw him from the bed, taking the sheets and tubes with was a rude awakening indeed to have the needles ripped from his body by such harsh means. The pain of is was far down the list of his concerns when the ground shuddered with another volley of loud booming echos. His legs felt like rubber under his weight as he tried to climb up on the bed for support. Sirens sounded alarms throughout the station. To the left he could see people in uniform and armor running by with guns in hand. His attention snapped to the doors ahead of him as someone burst into the room.

"Nihlus! We have go get to the Normandy, Now!"

Garrus stood in the door way, his face was stern and his mandibles were flush along his jaw. He wore black armor with the Cerberus insignia in yellow on his chest. Modern biotics had replaced the white bandage like apparatus that had held his face together in the past. Nihlus glared at him with a rage that had never filled him so violently.

"_You_!" He growled. "You have taken everything form me! Give me a reason I should not kill you and die with these humans!"

"We don't have time for this! Common!" Garrus shouted back, waving his arm.

"The _galaxy _is out of time! We failed!" Nihlus retorted.

"We are_ not dead_! We have_ not failed_! _Kill me_ if you have to, but do it on the _Normandy_!" Garrus shot back.

"Where's Shepard?"

"On the Normandy waiting for us! Move!" Garrus answered and turned to leave.

He wasn't going to stand there and argue. He ran down the hall, his rifle held tightly to his chest. If Nihlus didn't follow, so be it. He would deal with the wrath. The clicking of talons on the polished floor told him the turian was hot on his tail. Whether it was to kill him or not remained to be seen. But if it was on board the ship, it wouldn't matter.

The ground shook. Dust fell from the ceiling with chunks of tile. The boom of weapons fire from the station's main guns vibrated the walls. He didn't look back to see if Nihlus was still behind him. He ran the halls, passing panicked Cerberus employees and lab assists. Finally the air lock came into view. The doors hissed open and he ran inside. Shepard stood behind the cockpit waiting.

"Where's Nihlus?" She asked, the fear evident in her voice.

"He's behind me, but he's intent on killing me. I think I should go hide." Garrus replied.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, so if you don't mind..."

Garrus took off to the forward batteries. She was going to need him there in a few minutes anyway when they tried to escape the Reaper attacking the station. The elevator doors closed just as a half naked, angry turian nearly ran Shepard over as he stumbled onto the ship. His legs were unsteady due to atrophy and the sedatives. Not to mention the extensive amount of pain killers in his system from the major reconstructive surgery done to his face. Cerberus was good at the medical stuff. He had to give them that. You could hardly tell where the scars were. The thought made him wonder just how hard the Illusive Man had worked on the cure for the drell. Probably none at all considering Thane's remark on the Collector Base. TIM wasn't one to easily forgive and forget.

* * *

"Okay, Joker. Get us outta here!" Captain Shepard ordered.

"Yes, ma'm." Joker replied.

It wouldn't be easy, but if he was quick and they were lucky, the upgrades to the FTL drives wouldn't blow them all to hell when he punched the ignition.

"Hold on to your asses!"

"I do not have an 'ass', Mr. Moreau."

Joker rolled his eyes and hit the ignition sequence. The Normandy pulled away from the docking port and away from the angle of attack. The Reaper didn't seem to notice the newly painted black ship silently move off to a safer distance before jumping into FTL. The Normandy did not explode and Joker released the breath he'd been holding as the stars flew by in streaks of light. Behind him Shepard was helping Nihlus steady himself against the wall. The turian was panting heavily and growling. It was kind of scary.

* * *

"Common. Let's get you to a bed. You need to lay down." Shepard soothed.

"I'm not... going... anywhere with you!" Nihlus sneered between pants.

"You've been through a lot, please. Let me help you."

He didn't protest, but he didn't agree. He attempted to take a few steps toward the stairs. His strength faltered and he caught himself against the inner hull. He growled at himself with disappointment and disgust, then nodded and let Shepard loop an arm over her shoulders and help him up.

"Med-bay?" She insisted.

He nodded. They made the long, arduous journey in silence. Not counting the numerous groans and grunts of trying to walk on numb legs with the scent of her in his nose. There was a subtle hint of Garrus, but not the bonding mark on her face that he'd expected. She had not renewed the notion. It gave him bitter hope. She helped him to lie down and saw to his comfort before leaving the med-bay. The last look in her eyes as she gazed down at him with down turned lips was one he knew very well. It hurt him more than it comforted him. He had held such animosity toward her since she braved honesty with him. He should have been more willing to forgive. But it was difficult. He admired her for her ability to forgive _him_ for _his _misdeeds when _she _had died. He sighed heavily when she left. The warmth of her fingers against his wrists lingered. He missed her.

"You really should forgive her." Said Kelly.

The kind voice of the yeoman floated over to him from the stool beside his bed. He turned his face to look over at her gentle smile.

"I'm here to see how you're doing." She explained, trying to avoid saying words like 'mental state' or phycologist.

"I see." He mumbled and laid his head back on the pillow to let the doctor mother him.

"You don't know what she's gone through." Kelly continued as if she hand't stopped to tell him he was being evaluated. "Garrus kept her going after you died. He makes her happy. Hell, he make her _laugh_! Even with everything that's going on. She still loves you, though. There's nothing saying that's wrong or that you can't still love her. Maybe it's time to set aside ideas like relationships that can only involve two people that love each other. Why can't three people love each other? If the galaxy survives the Reapers attempt to purge it of all life, it may be a step to a new world. We will need the variety and growth such families would provide. If we don't, then their's no time for selfishness. It's true tuians and human can't reproduce, but for now it's the idea that matters. Just think about it. Now, I'm going to go over to the kitchen and get a bite to eat. Do you want anything?"

Nihlus stared at her in disbelief of the words that had just come out of her mouth and shook his head. The very idea was against everything he believed in when it came to a bonded relationship, and he certainly didn't intend on being with another man. He didn't think that's what she meant, but the idea of seeing another male with his mate and willingly sharing her with him was unacceptable. But as the hours rolled by and he slowly regained his strength, he thought about the doctors words and they started to make since. He didn't have to be there. He didn't have to witness it, though he would smell it. Could he deal with that if it was the only way he could be with her? It was a question he would have to find an answer to.


	6. Love

Nihlus sat on one side of Sonya on the sofa in the Loft, while Garrus sat on the other. The Normandy was hiding inside an asteroid until the FTL drives had time to cool. The path to the Council and Alliance base was a convoluted mess in order to make it difficult to be tracked or followed. It was one of many. With the Council and the Alliance underground, hope for survival of all the races was kept alive. Nihlus had just thought about the idea that Kelly had inspired. As he sat staring over at Garrus who stared back at him with just as much frustration, the answer was decidedly a definite and resound 'no'. More correctly, he had come to the result only seconds after Kelly had left the med-bay and it was more along the lines of a 'no fucking way in bloody hell am I going to share my life mate with anyone!' He'd bit his tongue as he ground his teeth, seething in anger.

Nihlus glanced at Sonya. It was still difficult to look at her without thinking of her being intimate with Garrus and Thane and feeling hostile about it, but in his heart he had found a way to forgive her. Forgetting would take time, but he could understand. He had been with many more, but he had not loved them. Perhaps that is what hurt him, but it didn't matter now. Since the three had convened for this meeting at Sonya's request, hardly a word had been spoken. They all knew the question; 'Who was Sonya's rightful life mate?' It was a difficult one to answer. If they had been human the problem may have been easier to solve. 'Until death do you part', were the most common vows given at a human joining ceremony. Nihlus had died, so the bond would have been severed and Sonya would be free to be with Garrus, resurrection or no. But as turians, they took no vows and so the subject was a rather un-resolvable one. There were no rules or laws for such a thing. People weren't regularly raised from the dead. So there they sat, glowering, worrying, angry and afraid of loosing someone dear to them.

"So tell me what I've missed." Nihlus said, attempting to ease into the other conversation or avoid it.

"Well, merc activity has dropped off the charts. That's one nice thing the Reapers have done. Either scared them off, strait or killed them. Pirates and slavers too. At first the slavers tried to make a deal with them. Bring them bodies in exchange for favor. Didn't turn out the way they'd hoped. I guess the Reapers are done talkin'." Garrus explained glowering at him the whole time.

"Did you tell the Council off when the Reapers showed up?" Nihlus asked Sonya, mandibles spread in a tentative grin.  
"I didn't have to. Anderson had rubbed their noses in it so hard, by the time I got there you would have thought I was the unbeliever." She offered a smile in return. Her fingers flexed nervously.

Nihlus chuckled. Anderson always did have a bit of a fire in him. It was something he admired in humans. Something he admired in her. Something he loved about her. He moved his hand to hold hers. He stopped himself when a low growl rumbled in Garrus' chest.

"But by then it was too late. That was one of the reasons they voted to destroy the Citadel, to prevent them from finding a way to activate the station. If we loose this war, they will probably rebuild it." Sonya continued, ignoring Garrus' possessive display.  
"We're not going to loose, Sonya." Nihlus said.

He looked at her sternly as if she'd commented blasphemy.

"Everyone else has so far. Sure we had a heads up from the Protheans, but it doesn't due anyone any good if nobody listens before it's too late." Sonya pointed out.

"I understand, though I really doubt that anyone before us destroyed the Citadel. That has to count for something." Nihlus shrugged.

"Does it? I wonder." Sonya said softly.

Nihlus sighed with frustration. He hadn't been there to see the destruction and the death and chaos. He hand't lived it. She had. There was nothing he could say or do that was going to make much of a difference in the conversation, but he tried anyway.

"The Prothean could have survived if they had more power or more bases like the one on Ilos. A hidden population. Their leaders died. Ours still live. We stopped Sovereign. There must be a way to stop Harbinger and the others as well."

"The last time I spoke with TIM, he alluded to the possibility that the Collector base may hold technology that could adapt our weapons and shields to be more formidable, but there are no guarantees. They need to run a few tests, but no one is willing to die if they don't work. I can't risk the Normandy. She's too important." Sonya told him.

"Wait, what?" Nihlus stopped her from continuing with a shake of his head and a hard stair.

"The Collector base was destroyed. You said you defeated them. What are you talking about?"

Sonya looked at him with wide eyes, realizing what she foolishly let slip out of her mouth. His bright green eyes bored holes into her from within the white mask. She wondered how she was ever going to explain this without incurring anger and disappointment.

"I, uhm... We didn't destroy the base, only the Collectors. TIM suggested that there might be information hidden within it that could help us. Turned out he was right! Ha ha!"

She smiled and laughed nervously.

"I can't believe you agreed to that. Maybe a good choice in hindsight, but..."

He shook his head again, then a light seemed to go off in his mind and the expression on his face changed to an amalgamation of so many things, she wasn't sure whether to run and hide or shoot him, or hold him.

"You traded the base for my life, so they would bring me back... didn't you?"

It wasn't a question. All she could do was nod. After a moment his face softened and his piercing stair eased into a gentle gaze.

"You didn't deserve this." He said and looked at her dark eyes and pale face with a furrowed brow.

"None of us did." She said back.

Nihlus looked away to the empty fish tank. His mandibles flexed a few times, then he chuckled.

"I meant to get you some fish for that thing on Illium." He grinned in his turian way. "It was one of my last laments before..."

He trailed off and looked down at his talons firmly clasped together in his lap. Then a soft warmth from a gentle touch on his arm gave him cause to hesitate and glance back at her. In the dim light and blue casts of dancing shadows from the tanks, she looked as lovely as ever in his eyes despite what time and immense stress had done to her.

"I'm so sorry, Nihlus." She said, then took her hand away from him.

He realized she was preparing to move the conversation forward to the topic he'd hoped to postpone.

"I don't want you two ready to kill each other over this." Sonya nearly whispered. "I want you both to know that I don't love one of you more or less than the other."

"Got it." Garrus mumbled.

Nihlus nodded.

"Technically I was her mate first." Nihlus pointed out.

"Technically," Garrus glared at the white faced turian, "you were dead!"

Nihlus bared his teeth and growled. Sonya immediately stood up between them before they could jump at each other's throats.  
"Boys! Boys! Please! No fighting, no arguing. It doesn't matter who was first. That's not what this is about!"

"We know what it's about." Garrus said. "It's about you making a choice."

He averted his eyes tot he floating orb on the low table. The room fell silent again for a long time. Sonya sat back down doing her best to avoid making physical contact with either of them.

"If we had kept our emotions in check, none of this would have happened." Garrus said, still staring at the sphere.  
Sonya wondered what he was thinking, or remembering.

"Nihlus is right." Garrus announced, his eyes did not move as he nodded toward the Spectre. "His is the bond that should be honored.""Shouldn't that be my choice?" Sonya objected.

"Do you no long wish to be with me?" Nihlus asked.

He kept his face and his voice calm, but inside his love for her screamed in agony at the idea of loosing her and having to see her every day with someone else. To make it worse it would be a friend an a fellow turian. If her new mate had been human, or even Thane, it might have been easier.

"No... I..." Sonya sighed and fell against the back of the sofa. "It's not fair to me to have to make a choice, but it's not fair to either of you not to. If I choose neither..."

They both looked at her with wide eyes as if the idea was absurd.

"Then..." She continued, ignoring their stars, "everyone is hurt. If I choose one over the other, one if not both people may loose a friend. I won't accept that. So what do the two of you expect me to do? I have no win/win options here."

They didn't have an answer for her. She was right, and apparently the only one really thinking clearly. Garrus' eyes fell to his knees. Nihlus stood and went over to the fish tank, clasping his hands behind his back. The tank was empty and it's void waters reminded him of the gifts he'd meant to purchase for her. A tear wet his eye and he blinked it back. Spectre's do not cry.

"I release you from our bond, Sonya." He said.

"What?" Sonya breathed in disbelief and horror.

Sonya rose quickly from her seat, her face suddenly pale. Garrus' eyes flew up from where they bored into his knees to look at the back of Nihlus' head in surprise.

"I died. You bonded with another for legitimate reasons. I cannot ask you to break that union for me." Nihlus said.

He lowered his head after he'd delivered his relent. He could almost hear Sonya's silent tears. It tore his heart out. A few days ago, in his mind, she was his life mate and nothing could come between them. His pain was cumulative of five years since that day. He could not express that agony here. He left the room without looking at them, without letting them see his face. Sonya called after him and he quickened his pase so that the elevator doors would close behind him before she would have a chance to stop him. He managed to hold back his rage and the tears until he could seclude himself in the main cargo hold on the hanger bay deck. There was nothing he could destroy there.


	7. Pain and Epiphany

"Excuse me, Captain," EDI appeared next to Shepard's personal console on the smaller desk.

"Yes, EDI..." She groaned.

Her face was in her hands propped up on her elbows. After Nihlus had left earlier that day, she'd kicked Garrus out too. She needed time alone. Lots of time alone. It wasn't as though she had never thought of this eventuality, but she had considered it highly unlikely to ever occur. Therefore, any conclusive thoughts on what she would do when the event actualized had never formed a complete consensus. That lack of faith in Cerberus had blown up in her face that day. She was not in the best of moods.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Officers Kryik and Vakarian are having a heated discussion in the hanger bay. I thought you would want to be informed."

"Yeah, can you do somethin' about that before they tear up my ship?" Joker added.

"Gah!" Shepard threw up her hands in aggravation. "Yes, fine. As if there aren't enough problems already."

She stormed off toward the elevator. The doors hissed shut and the car stared down the shaft. If they didn't kill each other, damn it all, she might just kill them both herself. She stopped off at the armory. Jacob looked up excitedly from his console. He was still calibrating a weapon, but he was also watching streaming vid from the hanger bay security camera's. She caught a glimpse of the 'heated discussion'. They didn't look like they were doing a whole lot of talking. She knew full well this sort of behavior was allowed on turian ships and it was part of their culture, but this was not a turian ship.

"Captain, did you hear about the fight down in the hanger bay?" Jacob asked as she examined several guns.

She didn't answer him and went strait for the specialized guns table.

"Captain? Captain what are you doing?"

Shepard selected the M-622 Avalanche and walked out. For the rest of the ride down her anger built up inside of her like a fire in a furnace. The doors hissed open and she entered the hanger bay that echoed with the sounds of struggle. Garrus's face was ferocious, while Nihlus' could have been carved from the hardest metal in exitance. Both of them had bloody wounds from scratches and bites wearing nothing but traditional sparing robes which were little more than loin cloths. She watched for a few moments while the two of them proceeded to beat each other senseless. She had to admit she was curious to see who would win, but when there was a little more than just blood on the floor as faces were smashed together in a grapple that would likely end up ripping someone's mandible off she decided that was the end of it. She stepped into the 'ring' marked by blood splatter. It may as well have been a varren pit. It was something one simply shouldn't do.

"Are you two done beating the holy fucking hell out of each other?" She called to them. Her voice carried and reverberated off the walls.

"Sonya, get back to the upper decks." Nihlus ordered.

"Get outta here!" Garrus shouted at her.

The two of them growled and glared at the other. Nihlus attempted a throat punch and Garrus countered and dropped him with a leg sweep. Nihlus promptly sunk his teeth into Garrus' ankle.

"Guess that's a 'no'." She mumbled.

She fired the gun and froze both of them solid. They would be released from the ice in a few hours under a heat lamp, but until then they had time to 'cool off'.

* * *

Garrus and Nihlus sat shivering on the sofa in her cabin wrapped up in thermal blankets and drinking a weak, hot tea. Sonya stood across from the, the low table and floating orb between them. Her arms were crossed and her face was glowering down at them.

"So, either of you two want to tell me why you were beating the piss out of each other?" She asked.

"It was just a sparring match, Sonya." Garrus defended.

"Really. It didn't look like one. It looked like you were trying to kill each other. And don't tell me you weren't."

Garrus opened his mouth again, but she cut him off before the sound to power the words left his throat.

"And don't you dare tell me it's over who's going to be my bond mate, cause I'll drop both of you out the nearest air lock and not look back. We've already discussed the issue. Nihlus has released his claim so there's no more need to fight about it. I just need some time. You can deal with that or you can't, but I'll not have this disrupting my ship more than it already has. Do you understand?" She shouted. She wiped away the tears flowing down her cheeks with the heel of her hand.

"I'm sorry, Sonya." Garrus muttered and lowered his gaze to the floor.

"Stop apologizing! I want no apologies or excuses. Both of you, go be friends. Hell, be enemies, I don't care! You were friends before this and if you let it come between you then maybe neither of you are the men I thought you were. Now get out!"

"But Sonya..." Garrus started.

"GET OUT!" She screamed and pointed wrathfully at the door.

Nihlus left without a word of protest or otherwise. Garrus continued to sit stubbornly, shivering on the sofa.

"Garrus!" Sonya warned.

"No." He said calmly, stealing his gaze on her. "I'm not leaving. You can beat me, shoot me, fucking freeze my ass again, but I'm not leaving this room."

He sipped his tea as if to punctuate his point. Sonya glared at him, but she wasn't going to force him to leave. It was his cabin too since they were bonded. She sighed heavily and relaxed her fists. Rounding the table she flopped down on the adjoining sofa.

"I'm so..." Garrus cut himself off and tried to change the sentence mid word. "..ooo hungry!"

He shook his head at his own critical failure. Sonya peeked at him from under heavy lids to raise a brow at him.

"You know where the mess hall is. Go for it, ice boy." She teased.

"That's not funny." Garrus grumbled.

Sonya smirked.

"You know this is killing me, right?" Sonya told him.

"I know. What do you want me to do about it?" Garrus shrugged.

"Nothing." She replied. "But you will have to be patient. I may not be feeling like... _mating_ for a while." She sighed.

Garrus clung to his blanket and shuffled over to sit next to her. He sat the tea down on the low table and stroked a hand down her throat as she rested her head against the wall.

"This isn't about the sex." He told her. "If it was, human would not be my first choice."

He grinned a little when she smirked as his comment.

"I'll be here if you need me." He told her.

He had always told her that, and it would always be true as long as he could possibly help it. He finished his tea, then left to take a warm shower. It surprised him when she joined him a while latter. She entered the room fully naked, but she didn't stroke him or invade his folds with her little prodding fingers. Instead she curled up against him and nuzzled his chest, careful to avoid his chest spur. He wrapped his arms around her and held her, comforted her under the soothing heat of the water and steam. If there were tears they were lost in the rivets that ran over her face. He stroked her wet hair, fascinated by it's change in color and texture when it was wet. He purred softly to her. He knew she liked that. It helped her sleep on the nights that she had nightmares. Someone who'd been through what she had was bound to have them now and again. Fighting off and hiding from Reapers over the last couple years didn't help. He was surprised to learn from Chakwas' medical records that he hacked into that the night mares had not occurred until after Nihlus' death. 'The straw that broke the camels back', so to speak. The thought prompted him to hold her a little tighter. Her heart at it's core belonged to another man. He was being selfish to think that he could change that. She would always be his best friend, and he would always be hers.

At the start of this they had simply been friends that had sex now and then. He let it go to far. He let himself develop feeling for her that were more than they should have been and his confession had coaxed her into returning them. Now Nihlus was back and his mistake was causing her pain. He would have to let her go, but he wouldn't release her right away. He wasn't ready to do that just yet. He would keep her for a little while longer. Just a few days, maybe a week, but then he would have to do what was right by her. She would never ask it. He couldn't guess what ran through her mind. But what was in her heart he could see in her eyes when she looked at the white painted face of the outsider. She and Nihlus were meant for each other. He could 'deal with that' or he couldn't. It was a choice that he must. He nuzzled her as he held her in his arms under the water, purring to her and wishing he'd never let it go so his eyes and held her.


	8. Indecision

She _did_ love Garrus. He had been her friend, her best friend. Then something more when they started... no gentle word for it... fucking. But that too had changed as their feelings for each other evolved. Quickly the casual sex had more emotion than stress behind it. The night they bonded it hand't even even a thought or a question. He held her in his arms and she was smiling up at him, both of them lost in the afterglow of their passion. He simply nuzzled her and she nuzzled back. A reaction. The natural flow of the relationship. He was dedicated to her well being. They shared a life, a bed, mutual respect and care for the other. They understood each other. It was right for them at the time. She had held no regrets or second thoughts until the message of hope for Nihlus' return to life arrived in her inbox on her personal console.

The awkwardness of the following week before she finally decided to leave, had been gut wrenching. Garrus never asked her who she would choose or if she loved him. He had been beyond understanding. Even volunteered his leave from her bed for a time, but she could see the conflict in him. The worry and fear of loosing what they had together. Their relationship was special, and he could make her laugh. Nihlus had always been her center, her bastion against her demons, but they had both been her shelter from the storms of life... and _excellent _lovers in an arena all their own. Nihlus had always been gently aggressive, full of emotion that was otherwise bottled up and hidden. Garrus hid nothing. So when it came to his love making, it was just as much about the pleasure of sex as it was how he felt for her. Neither ever grew tired of their obsession with her hair. Though Garrus was more attentive to her breasts than Nihlus had been. The differences were subtle, but enough to make them each so opposite of the other that she felt torn between them. After the fist week of awkward glances and deeply reserved emotion Sonya began to doubt if staying with Garrus was the right choice. She was the same person she had been underneath the stress and bitterness brought on by a hard war with the Reapers. She knew he could see that. As hard as he tried to hid it out of respect for her bond with Garrus, he still loved her with a fierceness that would rival the most vicious nathak. She happened upon him one evening after savaging a destroyed Reaper for parts and resources. He was cataloging some of the materials they'd brought back with them in the main cargo hold. It wasn't as empty now.

"How's it going?" She asked casually as she entered the room.

"Fine." He answered.

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

"No. I've got it."

Sonya crossed her arms and leaned back on one leg.

"I'm still your friend even if I'm bonded to someone else." She told him

"Shepard, please." Nihlus said, keeping his back to her.

"What happened to 'Sonya'?" She shrugged.

He didn't respond.

"Nihlus?"

She sat down beside him as he placed the parts into a container for storage. His bright peridot eyes flicked to her darker obsidian ones then back to the task at hand.

"Sonya, please. I'm asking. You must leave me alone for a while."

Her heart beat hard in her chest. It was difficult to keep away from him. To have only professional conversations with him. She found herself wanting to touch him. His scent was a living memory, earth and sea and a spice that was unique to him. He stood to leave because she clearly intended to stay. He dropped the wrench he'd meant to return to it's proper place. It came to rest by her thigh.

"Will you hand that to me please." He asked.

"Come down here and get it!" She quipped.

Spirits! Was she flirting? Was her dedication to Garrus so weak?

Nihlus turned to go with every intention of leaving the wrench of the floor for eternity rather than risk brushing the backs of his fingers against her thigh. The action would evoke too much from him to hold back.

"You can't just leave it on the floor. Safety regulation states you must return it to it's place." She told him.

He hesitated. She was right. She was using rules to get him where she wanted him, where he wanted to be but could not. Surely Garrus would smell him on her even as he could smell Garrus' mark on her face. Then he realized that it was the only area where his scent marked her. She had not mated with her spouse since he boarded the Normandy. Perhaps there was hope. He returned. He was only going to retrieve the wrench. Nothing more. He bent to take the tool from the floor, but his eyes were pulled up to hers. He pressed his forehead to hers. She nuzzled back. Her lips found his mouth and the sweetness of her tongue caressed his.

"Sonya..." He breathed. "We can't..."

But he had already left his mark on her. The damage was done. He didn't pull away when she ran her hands down the sides of his face and neck, then up again to stroke his fringe. He purred into her ear as he grazed his face over hers. He felt himself moistening, his desire hardening within him. Only the fabric of his uniform kept the skin of her fingers from touching his plates and sensitive skin. He found himself relenting to his own wants without complaint or will to do anything but be with her, there, on the floor of the main cargo bay. His talons roved over the smooth, black fabric of her uniform until he found the zipper that would expose her to him. Her own wandering hands found the wetness on his pants and the hardened length that sought a wetter, tighter solitude. He groaned at her touch as her many nimble fingers found their way in and gripped him.

"Not here." He said suddenly, and scooped her off the floor to find a more private corner in the dark room.

Behind a stack of crates along the back wall their frenzied hands and wonton desperation removed their clothing. It had been so long since she looked up into his white streaked face and piercing green eyes. When he pushed his way inside her, she realized how much further his ridges extended out from the main shaft than Garrus'. She cried out at the sudden pressure of him stretching her to fit him.

"Shhh..."

He hushed her gently as other parts of him were not so gentle. His need grater than his desire for tender passion. He was not unkind, but his rhythm was more desperate and his thrusts were harder, deeper and more primal than she remembered as he rolled his hips against her. It only encouraged him more when she moaned and arced her back, fully exposing her breasts and the 'N' shaped scar on her chest to him.

"_Spirits_...!" He breathed.

He moaned and purred. His eyes closed as he enjoyed her. Then he felt her lips and the heat of her mouth on him. The sensation built intensity and a fire within him. He arched as he neared completion, then he would back off and wait for the fire to subside a little before building up the heat again. Over and over he teased himself until evidence of her climax darkened the floor and his own proof that orgasm was near sought purchase. Then he hovered over her, positioning her hips and let his unique anatomy tickle the swollen bud of her arousal. Nihlus watched her writhe beneath him and listened to her gasping moans, feeling himself cling to her until he could hardly stand it. He could feel her dripping lower lips and her quivering swell. Sonya closed her eyes to concentrate of feeling him feel her. He could feel himself throbbing, aching to be within her and release the flood. His own wetness was clear and sticky and over produced, glazing her and himself with it's shine.

"U_hg...spirits... _!" He gasped when he finally thrust himself deep within her.

Everything was so intense. He could feel every texture inside her, every movement, even her pulse, as she rode him moaning and breathing his name. Her orgasms were dynamic and powerful. Her back arched, fully exposing her lonely breasts. He eagerly eased their solitude with his hands and his tongue. Moments later he allowed himself the release he so desperately needed to be relieved of with a growling purr. He dug his talons into her hips, thrusting hard into her quivering tightness. She cried out with great ecstasy on the cold floor. They both panted in the dark as he knelt over her fragile yet durable human body. He ran his fingers through her damp hair and slowly receded from her hot, sticky folds that were spread wide for him. She sat up before he had completely left her, wrapping her arms about his neck and pressed her lips to his mouth.

"I love you." She breathed.

Nihlus tipped his head forward and nuzzled his forehead to hers. Both cherished the moment with eyes closed, breathing each others air. Bonding for the second time. When he felt satisfied of his scent on her, he opened his eyes once more to gazed lovingly into hers. He couldn't have been happier than he was in that moment to have her in his arms once again, loving him.

Sonya smiled, but it faded quickly as her mind returned to her. The blacker pupils of her eyes shrank in the surrounding darkness of her iris'.

"What about Garrus? Spirits! What have I done?"

He cradled her to him like a mother holds her child. Her legs wrapped around him even as he remained pulsing inside her leaving his seed in her womb.

"He doesn't have to know." Nihlus told her.

"How? He will smell you all over me." She replied.

"Use soap that is not oil based. If you hurry my scent will not be able to cling to you." He told her. Then nuzzled her neck and chest.

"Or you could remain bonded with me."

He dared a look at her face with the suggestion. He didn't really understand everything about how human bonding worked, what influenced dedication, but he knew sex was important to them. He hoped the throbbing in her loins now would help to persuade her decision as she shuddered in his arms.

"I have to shower." She told him.

She quickly dressed and left him alone and sorely disappointed once more in the darkness of the cargo hold.

* * *

Garrus never noticed the scent of Nihlus on her. He only too happily took her in his arms that night when she drew him to her bed. He filled her the way only he did and loved her with a hard, raw passion. He purred and growled over her, pawing and lapping at her roused pink nipples. He nipped at her ears to make her arch her neck so he could lick her throat. He bit her shoulder to hear her cry out. He plunged deep into her to feel her quiver and hear her gasp. He brought her to orgasm to hear her moan is name before he quelled her screams with his teeth. He was a vicious, but generous lover. He waited until her open, reddened sex was swollen and glazed before he released himself into her, shuddering over her quivering body and spilling his seed deep inside her. The head of him pushed against her a little harder until he had emptied himself into her.

As they lay together she curled against him. His plates were hard, but comfortable. Her thighs burned from the chaffing, but she had cream for that. The new scratches, bites and nicks hurt, but it soothed her to feel them there and know they were from him. The sound of his satisfied purrs was a beloved song as it rumbled through her. She fought sleep until it over powered her, living the moment for as long as possible while he ran his talons carefully over her scalp.


	9. Release

The FTL drives hummed quietly in the background noise of the ship. Sonya hung over the railing of the galaxy map platform looking down at the winding route they were taking to get to the rendezvous that would take them to the Council. He always thought it made her ass look amazing when she did that, not that it didn't any other time, but looking up the ramp so see_ that _staring back at him was just too much. He took the liberty of joining her on the platform and gazing down at the map. She didn't mind. He'd done it before with less suavity. At least Kelly wasn't giggling or snickering behind them like a teenager. His mandibles fluttered. He could smell her, and himself on her. Then Nihlus walked by and her eyes flashed to him and held his gaze for a brief moment before she returned those dark pools to the map. It made him feel guilty about keeping her longer than he should have. If she really wanted to she could leave him. That's what he told himself to make it acceptable, but he knew why she stayed with him. It's what she felt was the right thing to do, not because it's what she wanted. Sure she loved him, and they had something great together, but Nihlus was back. In this game Nihlus trumps Garrus. His hand was all Garrus. He was out. Garrus started to walk away. A needle of pain stung him when she didn't call him back. He wasn't sure why he should feel that way. They were on duty. She had things to do, as did he. Running silent for as long as they could then taking cover until the engines cooled down required a fair amount of maintenance and repairs to overloaded systems. He had calibrations to do.

* * *

Reapers had been detected in the area and the Normandy sought shelter in yet another asteroid, powered down except for vital systems like Life Support. Everyone wore a thermal suit to keep warm. They were awkward and rather unflattering, but it was better than dieing in their best duds. There wasn't much that could be done until it could be confirmed that the Reaper had moved beyond detection range. Several members of the crew found other things to do,_ other _ways to keep warm. Precautions were a must quietly enforced by the doctor. People would need to procreate, but not until the threat was removed.

Sonya sat curled up on her bed wrapped in an extra layer of thermal sheets reading another report. The power cells would need to be replaced once they got to the base, as well as a few of the guns, hull plating, the list went on. The Normandy had seen many hard battles and only barely escaped from a few of them. She was lucky compared to those that did not make it. Sonya glanced up when her doors hissed open. Garrus walked in with an odd grace, considering the cumbersome thermal wear, and he had a small space heater in hand. She raised brow at him.

"What are..."

Garrus cut her off, "Joker said a personal space heater shouldn't put out enough of an energy signature to be detected and it's damn cold. I thought I could share mine with you."

Garrus set the heater on the floor a meter or two away from the bed and climbed in next to her. He wrapped his arms and legs around her and buried his nose in the bend of her neck. She cringed and smiled.

"That tickles."

He nuzzled her neck more firmly to avoid tickling her. She giggled and it made him chuckle. Her skin was warm to the touch thanks to all the thermal she had wrapped around her. It would be a few hours before they dared the energy spike to check sensors. For a long while they sat together listening to the heater quietly whirr. Garrus read the reports over her shoulder, breathing her scent. He tightened his arms around her in a little hug every now and then, treasuring the moment. Keeping her.

His hot breath on her skin tickled, but it wasn't the kind of tickle that made her laugh. Instead she was finding more and more difficult to concentrate on the pad as the turian behind her started quietly purring. The rumble in his chest threatened to put her to sleep. She put the pad down on the thermal comforter and glanced back at him over her shoulder. She smirked when she found him with his eyes closed. She gently nuzzled him and his baby blues sleepily fluttered open.

"You fell asleep on me." She told him, and kissed a cobalt streaked mandible.

"Oh, well... you're so comfortable." He teased.

"If you're tired we can get out of these suits and take a nap." She suggested.

She was tired to, bored from reading the reports. Plus she wanted to snuggle in close to his firm body and find all the areas of unshielded nodded his agreement. They undressed quickly and dove under the thermal sheets and comforter, leaving their suits laying in a heap at the foot of the bed. They wrapped each other up in their arms to share heat more than to be close, but the result had them caressing and kissing and nuzzling one another as soon as the chill had subsided. Garrus' hands moved over her body as smooth as silk, only nicking her occasionally with a light scratch to pull a gasp from her and feel her tense against him. He slipped one hand between the fabric of her panties and her skin and found the wetness already moistening the path. He gently rubbed the pads of his fingers over her, rousing her and caressing the bud that swelled under his urging. She panted heavily against him. Her fingers flexed and dug into the hard plating of his chest. When she tried to move to return the favor, he tightened his arm around her, pinning her arms between them.

"You mean to torture me!" She accused him.

He growled softly and nuzzled her face. His long, tapered tongue found it's way passed her parted lips. She surrendered to his exploration and looked a leg over his hip to allow him better access to her. Her willing vulnerability set the fire in his gut to a roaring blaze. His own wetness was a slick sheen on the surface of his folds. Removing his hand from her blushing loins, he pulled her atop him and let her grind herself against his folds. The sticky smacking sounds were muted by the heavy bedding, but he heard them none the less and the hardness within him began to peek out and enter her open body. His tongue lapped at her erect nipples and lightly bouncing breasts. He rubbed the pad of his thumb over the smooth skin of her tummy and pressed into her belly button on the way to caress the flesh that rolled with his penetration. This made her cry out with pleasure each time his head passed by the pressure of his thumb. When he was fully inside her he could see the end of him slide up to tease her belly button, then down again as she pumped him. He waited for her to orgasm a few times before rolling her under him. His rhythm was faster than hers, and his thrusts were harder and more complete. His love was hard, but tender at the same time, as was his heart. He nuzzled her as he loved her. She kissed and caressed the naked skin of his throat. She moaned his name and he growled against her neck with his teeth in her shoulder as they reached their apex together. They drifted off to sleep holding one another with foreheads pressed together. He whispered those three words she knew so well just before her dreams carried her off.

When she woke the heat was suffocating. The combined heat from the turian and all the thermal bedding was stifling. Sleepy blue eyes blinked to wakefulness. He nuzzled her and pressed his mouth to hers in a 'kiss'. He always did like a mourning love session and began fondling her breasts. He rolled over her, using his width to spread her open to him and she let him. Her morning wetness allowed him quick entry and lead them both to orgasm within minutes, but that didn't stop him from continuing to fill her with his hardness and grind his hips into her. This wasn't about reaching climax to begin the day. This was about being half asleep and indulging in a dirty pleasure. So when he peaked again when she did it surprised both of them. He didn't stop until his length finally softened and receded. Then he slid off her to lay next to her. She rolled over to face him. Both were beyond satisfied, but he continued to caress her and play with his favorite parts. His gaze was on her but the thoughts behind them were not in the room.

"What is it?"She asked softly, surrendering to his gently roving talons.

"The Reapers aren't going away." Garrus sighed. "They probably know we're here. We could all die before the end. I don't intend to waste a second of my time with you over 'rights' to who should be the one to be with you. I know you love me, Sonya. You know I would do anything for you. Nihlus is my friend, though we don't always play nice. There's no point or time to be bitter or selfish. If ever two people should be together it's you and Nihlus. I let my personal feelings cloud that."

His eyes were wet with tears that would never be allowed to fall. He had too much pride. But her pride did not prevent the water that trailed down to the pillow. He wiped the tears away with the pad of one thumb. She kissed him then, sweetly, the way a grateful friend my show their application. They made love to each other for the last time that morning, tender and slow. When it was over he held her, and she held him back. He already missed her, being with her like this, but it was the right thing to do.


	10. Choice

EDI's station in Shepard's room was nearly blown to bits when the A.I. suddenly appeared in her quarters. The emergency gun that she kept in her bed side table was pointed at the blue glowing orb in the strong grip of one quick turian hand.

"Pardon my intrusion," EDI said with mild amusement at the threat of gun, "But the sensors are no longer picking up any sign of Reapers in the area. Joker is preparing the ship to disembark from the astroid. I am returning environmental conditions to normal."

"Thank you, EDI." Shepard groaned.

She'd never been so sore or so tired. Beside her Garrus returned the pistol to the dewar and cuddled next to her, hugging her hips. He refrained from nuzzling her. He was once more a friend and not a mate, even if the two of them were the only ones who knew it. Sonya knew as soon as she tried to move the raw flesh of her thighs would simply scream at her. At the time her mind was on other things, but the aftermath was brutal. When she mentioned something about the cream, Garrus retrieved the tube from the dewar of the bed side table and offered it to thanked him and took the tube with her to the shower. Garrus watched her leave. It was the last time he would ever see her nude form move freely in front of him.

* * *

The warm water stung, but it was a cleansing feeling. The droplets ran in rivets over her skin, tickling the places he'd touched her. She wondered if it would be strange to have Nihlus back. She and Garrus had been bonded almost as long as she had known Nihlus. But not being with him and seeing him everyday was worse than any adjustments she may have to make. She smiled happily to her self as she washed and applied the cream. It was a joy she realized had been missing since his death. Maybe Garrus was right. They did belong together.

* * *

Garrus stiffened a little when he spotted Nihlus exiting the elevator onto the command deck. I would take time to get used to seeing the dead rise, again. For whatever reason it wasn't as easy to accept him back as it had been to accept Shepard. Maybe it was because it meant he was loosing something. The former Spectre made his way across the deck to the helm, though nothing about the way the turian went about his duties spoke of being a former anything. In the heart of the turian outsider he was still a Spectre, and would remain so as long as his body would tolerate it. As wholly as Garrus had believed that to be who Nihlus Kryik was to the core, recent events had shown him otherwise. Nihlus was a complicated man. The Spectre, as intense as he was, had been only the surface of him. Deeper than that was the man that only Sonya had known. The softer, sensitive persona that held a place in his heart for a human that no one else could ever fill. It impressed Garrus that two extremes of hard and soft existed within a single being. As Nihlus neared him behind the cockpit he could clearly see the steel glint had returned to his eyes. Private life was just that. This was work. There was a very definitive line in the life of the Spectre.

"When will we be ready to make the jump?" Kryik asked.

He didn't care who answered. He wasn't about to bow to any command other than Shepard's, maybe. He'd decided that on the way down. It didn't matter if she was with Garrus. He was here on his own for the galaxy, just as if he were a Spectre. He'd functioned in that manner for too long to submit now.

"In about fifteen minutes, uh... sir." Joker told him, unsure of how to address the turian.

"Good, keep me informed."

He walked away to examine the Galaxy Map.

"I hate that guy." Joker said. "I don't see what the Captain ever saw in him."

"He's not as bad as you might think." Garrus told him.

"I think I liked you better when you had a stick up your ass. Shouldn't you two be at each other's throats for some kind of primal mating rights or something?"

"I'd rather not be frozen again. That isn't fun. Especially while you're de-thawing and Shepard is yelling at you."

"No. But it _would_ be fun to watch. Ya know? _Entertainment_! Something that has been put on the back burner since the shit hit the fan." Joker grumbled.

"Don't get pissy just because you didn't think to place betting rounds the last time." Garrus jested and left the helm.

He passed by Shepard on the way. She nodded and proceeded as professionally as ever. She was a little like Nihlus that way, but more willing to laugh and make playful banter. She would stay at the helm until after the jump. One more stop to hide before meeting the ship that would escort them to the base. The Reapers were closer this time. Too close. They would have to use a different route out and a new one when they returned. The Council, as much as he hated them, was the only thing holding all the species together. If they were lost then the galaxy would be no better off than when the Protheans tried to cling to exitance.

Garrus never really was one for standing around and looking over the shoulders of those doing the work, so he kept busy doing what repairs he could and assisting with regular maintenance in engineering. Kryik and Shepard organized, ordered, and planed. That's what they were good at, even better at implementation. He could plan, but his tended to lean to heavily on one point or another. That mistake on Omega would haunt him for the rest of his life. His men were avenged, but that didn't make it right. Nothing would make it right. Everyone had their demons. That was one of his.

* * *

Shepard left the helm with few words spoken between herself and Joker. He'd seemed more distracted and less jovial since the Reapers entered the milky way. She had an idea that he and Kelly were seeing each other, but it hadn't improved his mood much. It had to be difficult for him His condition was better with improved treatments, but he still had to be careful.

Her eyes fell on Kryik standing over one of the consoles mounted to the wall. He was checking on ship stats, repairs, needed supplies, making a list of everything that needed to be done before they left port. She had no doubts he would be extremely thorough. She elected to send him a message instead of bothering him while he worked. She went over to her private terminal next to the galaxy map ramp and typed up a quick note.

Kryik,

Please come speak to me at your convince.

Shepard.

Nihlus' omni-tool alerted him of a new message seconds later. Shepard wasn't even in the elevator yet when he read it. He let her sweat it out for two hours before responding.

Shepard

Drinks in the observatory 1900 hours

* * *

Sonya washed vigorously in attempt to make herself a clean slate, so to speak. She wanted him to smell her and nothing and no one else. She saved to be smooth and lathered up with lotion to be soft. She conditioned her hair and blow dried it so it would be feathery and light to draw his hand. A bit of shimmering moisturizer so that she might be more appealing to his turian senses, and a softening balm on her lips to make them more supple. Most of it was her human impression of what made her attractive. She had no idea what particular features he found alluring in her. The only think he seemed fixated on was her hair and that was because humans were the only ones that had it. He'd never pointed out an individual feature, so she hoped her simplicity was the diamond he sought. She put on a clean uniform, she didn't want to seem to obvious, and headed out the door.

She was a few minutes late, so she was surprised when no sign of him was in the room. She patiently took a seat on the sofa by the window and tried to relax. She hoped he hadn't shown up and left when she was not there. The thought worried her and she got up to pour herself a drink. If he didn't show her plan was to get trashed and spend the night with her terrifying dreams staring out at the rock wall of the astroid. She had just finished her first martini staring out into space when Nihlus walked in. He had left the uniform behind in favor of a dark casual suit of black and deep red. The colors made the white paint and his green eyes shine even brighter in the dim room. She moved to get up, but he stopped with a raised hand.

"Don't. What were you drinking? I'll get you another." He offered.

She licked her lips trying to remember.

"Basil Martini." She answered.

She had chosen the oddity because the smell reminded her of him. Now that he was her it seemed redundant, but it would be best if she didn't start mixing it up just yet.

Nihlus nodded and headed over to the bar. He had no idea what basil was or how to make a martini, so he hoped to the spirits that she'd left the ingredients on the counter. He found a couple bottles of clear liquid and a small canister that contained long, narrow leaves. They were each labeled vermouth, vodka and basil accordingly. He put two leaves in a clean glass and poured equal portions over them and added two balls of ice. He hoped she didn't spit it out. He took her the glass and exchanged it for the empty one. She didn't hold back her dislike of the concoction. He preferred her honesty to a polite lie.

"Nihlus, what did you _do_? This is awful!"

He chuckled.

"I guessed." He admitted.

"Here..." She got up and took her old glass from him. She mixed a bit of the old and added more vodka, showing him his mistake.

"Like that, see?"

He nodded and she sat back down. He made something similar for himself, but it was blue and in a tall slender glass. He took the cushion next to her.

"So, what did you want to see me about?" He asked.

He was uncertain of what her answer might be, but he also noted the lack of any scent but her own on her. It gave him an idea, so he was not surprised when she told him.

"Garrus and I... we decided that we were better off remaining friends." She told him. It wasn't the entire truth, but it was all she really needed to tell him. "I thought you might like to know."

"After you left me in the cargo bay?" He said calmly.

Sonya's cheeks turned pink and she turned her gaze away from his.

"It was wrong of me to temp you then run away. I should have faced my decision to be with you." She said softly.

"And here we are. You're available and wanting me to take my place at your side, right?"

His mandibles flexed then snapped tight against his jaw line, hiding his teeth. She met his sharp eyes with her own.

"No. I never considered you to be anything less than myself. If you don't want me back, then I'll wait for you until you do. I won't give up this time. I want my partner in the SDA back."

"The Sepectres don't exist anymore, Sonya."

He was still calling her by her first name. He was at least considering forgiving her.

"You know they just gave us the title so we could stay together. The turian Councillor knows. I saw the look on his face when he detected your scent on me for the first time. He may not have told the others about us, but the SDA was his doing. He didn't like the idea, but he couldn't deny what a good team we were. He did what was best for the galaxy not what he agreed with. He still hates me, I'm sure."

"You know he and the asari Councillor have a secret life together." He returned the favor of revelation. "He talks as though turians should mate with there own kind, but he is a hypocrite behind closed doors."

"How do you know this?" Sonya asked with peaked curiosity.

"I could smell him on her. It was faint, but it was there. Didn't you ever wonder why they glance at each other so often? She doesn't turn to the salarian that often."

"I guess I never really cared." She admitted. She took a sip of her corrected martini.

"Do you forgive me?" She asked, referring to the cargo bay insolent.

"I can't say I regret coming back for the wrench."

He grinned at her. She blushed lightly and averted her eyes.

"I forgive you, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to jump into this again."

She looked back at him, her shock evident on her pale face.

"I think you should make sure this is what you want before you toss Garrus aside. He's done a lot for you... and me. He kept his promise, and I couldn't have asked for someone better to be your mate after I was gone. I'm grateful that Cerberus brought you back, but perhaps the dead should remain dead in the future."

"Nihlus, I..."

She turned away and finished off the martini. It took her several moments to decided what to say. How could she explain to him that he kept her nightmares at bay by simply lying next to her? How could she tell him that, as much as she appreciated what Garrus had done and as much as she loved him, it wasn't the same? That _he_ was the one she longed for when the nights were colder and the days bleak. _He_ was the one she wanted to open her eyes and see every morning since his death. How could she tell him that when Garrus would hold her in the darkness she would sometimes try to imagine it was _he_ who was holding her? Was there a way she could say any of that and not sound like a selfish bitch who'd used her best friend for her own comfort? She couldn't. That wasn't how it felt, but that's how it would sound.

"What can I say?" She shook her head. "I could tell you how I feel, what it's been like to live without you... that the others were to _distract_ me from _missing_ you. What can I say?"

He wanted to hold her, to take her in his arms and tell her everything would be fine and nuzzle his forehead to hers, bond with her. But he couldn't. They both needed time. What if Garrus lamented his decision and wanted her back in a few days, a week, a month... how long could he wait to take back his mate without fear of losing her again? He wondered if she had felt so much turmoil after her resurrection.

He tentatively put a taloned hand on her shoulder to try and console her without being to near her. It seemed close proximity to her was his undoing. He caught the glimpse of a tear before she turned her face from him to hide it. So he left. At the door he half turned. He meant to tell her he was sorry, to say he wished it could be different. But seeing her curled up on the sofa and staring out at the ruddy walls that hid them from the searching Reapers he realized no apology from him was going to ease anyone's pain or loneliness. His gaze fell to the floor and he left her alone in the darkness of the observatory with only his glass of untouched blue liquor precariously balanced on his cushion for company

* * *

Garrus exited the elevator in time to see Nihlus leaving the observatory. He did not look happy and neither did Sonya, the little he saw of her before the doors closed. He followed Nihlus into the opposite observatory. His friend stood with his arms crossed in front of the large window.

"Hey, how are you?" He asked as he came up beside him.

"Garrus, now is not a good time." Nihlus told him without taking his eyes from the view of the rock wall.

"I think now is a perfect time. You should be in there taking back your mate. Instead you're in here staring at the guts of a rock."

"I'm not taking her back."

"Why?" Garrus narrowed his eyes.

"I need time."

"There may not be any time. She's been waiting for you for the last five years, Nihlus. Did you expect her to suffer alone? She's human. They need emotional connection. Would it have been better if she _fucked_ anything that would have her like you did?"

That had been the wrong thing to say, but it did snap him out of his mood. Unfortunately for Garrus, it also brought his fist up under the jaw of the turian who was the voice of reason. Garrus was quick to retaliate, but his attack was painfully blocked and countered, putting him under Nihlus in a rather awkward position. He was pined and Nihlus' angry face was centimeters from his.

"I abide no _judgment_ from _you_, _vigilante_. I have been forgiven of _my_ sins. Who will forgive you of yours?"

Nihlus growled and bared his teeth then abruptly left the room. Clearly the situation bothered him more than Garrus had thought if it pushed him to loose his temper so quickly. He got up off the floor and followed Nihlus out so see him return to Sonya on the sofa. In the seconds the doors remained open he saw Nihlus take her face in his hands and nuzzle her. He saw joy and relief on her face and, though is unsettle him to loose that part of his relationship with her, he was happy for her happiness.


	11. The Fold

The base was hidden deep within the moon of a previously un-discovered world in the Terminus Systems on the outter arms of the galaxy. The first few caverns were empty and barren. The escort ship rounded a bend that opened up into a hanger bay full of ships both alliance and those of the council races among those that were not. Councillor Anderson was the only Council member to greet them. He was looking a little older than his years since the return of the Reapers. He greeted them with hands clasped behind him military style as Shepard and her boys walked down the hanger bay ramp.

"Captain Shepard, it's good to see you and your crew are well."

"We're doing what we can, but the Normandy needs some love." Shepard told him.

"The repairs to the Normandy will take some time, but we have every confidence that we can get you back in the sky soon. Hopefully she'll be better than you were before. Miranda got us some information Cerberus had hoarded from the Collector base. We've got some improvements to the up grades. Should put us on equal ground with the Reapers. Half the Alliance's ships have already received the new tech. We're running low on resources so we set some back for the Council races want to see if we blow up before they'll accept the up grades themselves."

"Figures." Garrus scoffed.

"We're honored." Shepard said, and shot Garrus a side long glance.

"The Council is waiting, if you'll follow me." Anderson said, ignoring Garrus' comment.

Shepard and her boys followed Anderson through a low, wide pass into the residential cavern. Pre-fabs littered every accommodating space available. The ruddy tones of the walls and natural columns that hung down from the ceiling and rose up from the floor seemed to almost form a grand hall as the small procession followed the human Councillor. The main pathways were lit by rows of lanterns that glowed with a sterile, bright light. It was almost enchanting if not for the dire situation that put them there. Anderson lead them to the step like formations that flowed down from a smaller cavern within the space.

"This hollow rock is what we've come to call the Temple. It would also serve as a shelter should the Reapers start firing on the surface. The entirety is self-supported."

"That's quite impressive." Kryik noted.

The Council members descended the steps as if they were walking out from a palace. Shepard crossed her arms and wondered if they'd ever get over themselves. From the lack of poise displayed by Nihlus, she imagined he'd lost some respect for them as well. They were little more than a ideal than a leadership body now. A symbol. Their importance was nothing beyond that.

"Good to see you are well." The asari greeted each of them with a nod. "It seems your relationship with Cerberus has been profitable after all."

"But that doesn't mean we trust them." The turian Councillor added. "They're primary interest remains the survival of humanity. If that mean sacrificing the rest of us, I don't believe they will hesitate."

"I agree." Said the salarian Councillor. "We have to insure the survival of all races, not just humanity."

"If you're doubting my resolve to save as many as possible regardless of species, I've got news for you!" Shepard responded hostilely.

"Relax Shepard, no one here is accusing you of anything." Anderson said.

"Yes, we're all aware of your _pioneering_ efforts in the realm of interspecies 'harmony'. You're the first human to ever openly take a non-human mate that wasn't asari." The turian Councillor stated with his usual animosity and an unusual leer on his face.

Shepard assumed that was because of the lack of scent on her. Less than happy about the turian Councillor's found joy in her misery, Shepard crossed her arms and glared at him. Her eyes flicked to the asari Councillor, then back to the turian Councillor with a raised brow as if to tell him she knew about them. She allowed herself a smirk when his mandibles twitched.

"It's a credit to Garrus Vakarian as well." The asari Councillor added.

Behind her Garrus swelled with pride within his armor. Shepard's relationship with Kryik had been more discreet than her relationship with Garrus and apparently remained unknown to the Council, save Anderson. But it was a trivial matter to argue about, so the four of them let it slide. Besides that, Nihlus was still unsure of whether he should attempt to continue where they left off years ago. She was willing, but he doubted if she really knew what she wanted. There were to many variables in the equation.

"We simply want to keep a watchful eye on all fronts. These are delicate times."

The asari paused to change subjects.

"Nihlus Kryik," The asari Councillor addressed the turian. "Another Spectre from the Normandy returned to life by Cerberus. Tell us, why did the human-centric organization resurrect you?"

"That may be a question more suited for Captain Shepard." He answered respectfully.

"Captain?"

The asari turned the question to her. Shepard took a moment to decide how she should explain it. Either way they would probably insist she keep her ties to the organization for the informational purposes. If she left Cerberus, TIM would likely retaliate against the Council in some discreet, but harmful way. The Alliance may be spared simply for the benefit of humanity. She was tired of wearing the Cerberus uniform, but if it mean survival...

"On my mission to stop the Collectors the original orders were to destroy the base. At the last moment the order was changed to spare the base and destroy only the Collectors. I agreed on the condition that The Illusive Man would use the same resources he used to bring me back to also resurrect Spectre Kryik."

"Why did you make such an arrangement?" The turian Councillor asked.

"That doesn't matter. The point is the technology was saved as was the life of the Spectre. Do the reasons matter?" Councillor Anderson interjected, trying to protect the anonymity of Sonya's relationship with the turian despite the earlier praise.

"I agree with him in this matter." The salarian added. "Her reasons are not as important as the result."

"He was a part of my crew. I don't like when my men die." Shepard answered before any more speculation could hit too close to home.

"How_ valiant_ of you." The turian Councillor seethed, openly doubting her.

"You should learn to take me at my word, _Councillor_. Perhaps if you had listened in the first place we wouldn't be in this mess!" Shepard shot back.

"_You _had _no evidence_ to support your claim. We couldn't send fleets off into non-Citadel space on the word of one _crazed _human and a few of her loyal crew!" The turian said, talking over the asari attempting to defuse the situation.

"Why did you make me a Spectre if you thought I would be un-trustworthy?" Shepard goaded him.

"Enough! Please!" The asari shouted. "This isn't getting us anywhere. Right now the only thing that matters is getting the technology Cerberus found in the Collector base installed in as many ships as possible so we can launch an organized counter offensive that might be successful with minimal casualties. We've lost enough lives for centuries of war."

"She's right." Anderson added. "We won't win this if we're fighting among ourselves."

"Nihlus Kryik, we could use a man like you in command of one of our ships." The turian Councillor offered.

Nihlus held his calm, but deep inside he was panicking. He wasn't emotionally ready to be her mate again, but that didn't mean he wanted to part from her. He could do good things at the command of his own ship. But if he lost her again without re-accepting her as his bond mate, the only person outside his father to truly accept him, the guilt would surely be the end of him. He needed time. It always came down to that. No time, too much time. Never the time you need when you need it.

"I'll need to consider that." He answered.

"Consider quickly, Kryik. We may not have..."

"Time." Kryik interrupted the turian Councillor. "I am _acutely_ aware of the problem."

"The Normandy should be ready in a few days. Until then, try to get some rest. You'll need it." Councillor Anderson advised.

"There are rooms available for you and your crew in the barracks. They are comfortable and private." The asari informed them.

"Thank you Councillors." Shepard nodded.

The Council nodded back and dispersed. Anderson stayed and waited for the others to be out of ear shot before he approached Shepard and greeted her with open arms. She accepted the embrace. Then Anderson turned to Nihlus and offered his hand. Nihlus took it respectfully.

"It's good to have you back." Anderson said.

"Thank you sir." Kryik nodded.

David turned back to Sonya, clearly worried, but trying to grin through it.

"You and your husband may use the spare room in my apartment if you want. It's a little roomier than the barracks will be, and homier." David offered. He kept his eyes on her to avoid assuming the wrong mate.

"Thank you, but I think I should stay with my crew." She told him.

"I understand. Well, at least come by for dinner. I've found a few recipes that are turian friendly." David said and grinned at Garrus and Nihlus.

Garrus just nodded. What else could he do? It wasn't his place to inform the Councillor of the complications, and if Shepard didn't feel like telling he wasn't either.

David picked up on the hesitation. He wasn't a stupid human, not by far. David simply nodded. It wasn't his business what had happened between them, but he would be there for Sonya if she needed him. He was grateful when they accepted his invitation to dinner. He didn't have company often.


	12. Dinner at David's

The series of massive caverns had been made naturally. The free flowing beauty of the rock formations took their breath away as the trio followed Anderson to his prefab. Shepard was particularly taken with the place. She'd seen a few caves on Earth after she joined the Alliance. Nothing there compared to this. The smell wasn't so different, musky, mineral and oddly colors were extraordinary. Instead of the dull, mono toned hues of beige and gray, these formations were red and mauve with indigo patterns where plant life had once clung to the rocks. Giant crystal formations tipped in red, like blood from a wound, jutted out of pools of clear water. Silvery, eyeless fish like creatures swam in some of these pools. They appeared to use tiny hairs all over their bodies to swim and detect each other as well as particles of food. She even caught sight of two of them plainly diddling each other. It almost made her blush. It was the most interesting base they had hid in to date. The others had been asteroids and dead moons. Hardly anything to write home about.

"_David_, this place is _amazing_!" She said.

"The salarians love it. Groups of them are always studying the fish or the crystals. The water is fresh and drinkable. I think it tastes like sea grass, but that's just me."

Sonya wrinkled her nose. Both turians chuckled at her. Sonya rolled her eyes and smirked. It was nice to be somewhere that they didn't have to worry about a Reaper spotting them. Though, that stress free feeling was about to tense up again once they began the conversation that she was sure waited for them in David's pre-fab.

David opened the door for them and closed it behind him after they had gone inside. It wasn't anything special. Just a functional space that offered minimum comfort. The extra room lay off to one side. The partition divider was folded up against the wall to make the living area feel bigger. The room was much smaller than the Loft on the Normandy, but there would be plenty of space. The group sat down at the small table under a glassless window while David set some water boiling on the small stove hardly more that a couple meters away from them. It was an uncomfortable fit, but not so tight they were touching elbows. David sat down across from Sonya and folded his hands on the table. After a few moments of awkward silence David decided to start.

"Don't just sit there. I expect conversation." He teased, trying to cut through the obvious tension between them. "Tell me about the Normandy, battle story's, Gardner's cooking, anything. How's Dr. Chakwas and Joker?"

"Joker's dating Kelly." Sonya blurted.

David's eyes grew wide, then he laughed.

"That bastard's got a girl?" He laughed again.

It was good to hear him relax. The corners of her mouth turned up at the sound, but it wasn't quite a grin. She was flexing her fingers. Nihlus' sharp eyes spotted the tell and felt inclined to hold her hand, but he worried it might be inappropriate given the circumstances.

"Well, as long as he's happy." David said.

The water was boiling and David got up to add some seasoning and protein neutral noodles. He hadn't expect Nihlus to return, but Sonya always did find ways to surprise him. He chopped a few vegetables and mixed them with a light oil in a pan. It didn't take long for them to brown. Setting the pan aside, he sat back down to the quiet table.

"So who will you and your mate be staying here?" He asked Sonya, subtly insisting. "You would be sharing a larger pre-fab with the entire crew. Maybe two linked together, but I can promise you, you're privacy will be nearly non-existent."

"David, I appreciate your offer, but..." Sonya hesitated. .

She flexed her fingers hard enough to turn the knuckles white. Then a rough turian hand closed over hers. She looked up into the reassuring peridot eyes of her former lover and bond mate. Nihlus' mandibles twitched, then he turned to Anderson.

"We don't want to intrude." He stated politely.

Sonya's eyes lit up with the sudden realization of what the turian had just said without using the words. She gave his hand a squeeze.

David was happy for her, but confused. He'd expected them to, well, he wasn't sure_ what _he expected. He glanced over at Garrus who seemed quite content. He even thought he saw the turian grinning. Now he was really confused. He got up to drain the noodles and add the sauce.

"You're not intruding. I'll get out the extra bedding." He called over his shoulder to them. He glanced back in time to see Nihlus nuzzle Sonya. He expected a measure of jealousy form Garrus, or anger. When he saw neither David was thoroughly impressed.

"Okay, _dad_," Sonya teased. She was smiling. "We'll stay. Thank you."

"Good, well, food's done. It's not much, but it's better than rations."

He set a bowl in front of each of them with the appropriate eating utensil.

"Thank you, David." Sonya said again.

"Please, it's just 'dad' at home." He told her.

Since his family, ex-wife and son, had been lost on Earth, he'd felt an emptiness. Having his 'daughter' with him, even for a short time, helped the lingering pain and guilt.

Sonya smiled and nodded. She knew his pain, and if it helped stay with him and call him 'dad' it was the least she could do.

David sat down and looked up at the turian men who sat to either side of him. He decided she couldn't have picked finer companions in any circumstance.

* * *

After a dinner filled with good conversation and laughter, Shepard activated her omni-tool and sent a message to the Normandy informing the crew of the arrangements in the barracks. They could get there on their own. She didn't need to hold their hands. Garrus excused himself and thanked Anderson for the meal before heading to the barracks to sleep.

"I'm going to hit the sack too, kids." David said, placing the last dish in the cleaning unit. "Good night."

David headed off to the opposite end of the pre-fab.

"Who votes we use this opportunity to 'settle in'?" Sonya asked Nihlus with a smirk. She didn't have to ask twice.

Caves have a tendency to echo, so they kept it as quiet as they could. That meant taking it slow and gentle. She still had difficulty keeping the volume of her moans down. Who knew something as aggressive and hard as a turian could be so tender and passionate? She lost track of time and reason in the tangle of limbs and sheets. They didn't speak a word. They didn't need to. His bond with her had never faded. It wasn't reliant on scent or time. They just were. When morning came they were asleep, wrapped up in one another. Nihlus' face was bent to hers and they breathed each other's air. He was still joined with her as they slept, his body slowly receding from her. She had no nightmares that night.


	13. Happy

Shepard gave explicit orders to the repair crew chief to not allow the Normandy's crew to spend more than six hours at a time helping with repairs. It was driving Garrus crazy. Those were _his_ guns. Shepard insisted that the crew take time to stretch out and relax. She herself enjoyed the opportunity to explore the caves. The first few were full of pre-fabs with survivors from the Citadel and countless colonies. Turian and Alliance guards stood near intersections between species to insure no one caused any problems with their neighbors. Closer to the surface was the space craft hanger and repair bays. She discovered tunnels that lead to surface defense. Deeper caves were left in peace to minimize destruction of the natural formations. It was a way of keeping hope that it would still be there, that the Reapers would be defeated. Nihlus, Garrus and herself alternated shifts so that one of them was on the Normandy helping with repairs as all times.

On her time alone she often explored the deeper caves on her own. Neither of the boys liked that she did that, in case something happened, but they couldn't stop her. Today was one of those days were she was not alone, however. Nihlus liked to go with her on occasion in lieu of sleep or meditation. The caves were just as interesting to him as there were to her. He's seen very few despite his wide travels. In the wetter places a luminescent lichen grew on the rock. The faint yellow and blue glow was, at times, so bright in the sheer amount of it that they didn't need the head lamps. At the bottom of a particularly slippery and naturally well lit slope, they found a ledge that was just wide enough for them to walk comfortably along, side by side. They stopped about half way across to admire the waterfall that rushed down from above on the opposite wall several meters across a deep chasm. They could faintly hear the echo of the water crashing into an underground sea far below them. Nihlus wrapped an arm around Sonya's waste as they looked on. She leaned against him with a quiet sigh. He felt it more than heard it over the sound of the fall. He nuzzled her hair and held her close, feeling her chest as it rose and fell in time with her breathing. They didn't stay long. They both needed sleep before starting their shifts.

Work was coming along quickly, but not quickly enough with the added improvements and up grades to be made. Garrus practically lived in engineering and the forward batteries. Everyone did as much as they could and usually returned 'home' covered in oil and grease. The shower in David's pre-fab was only big enough for one, so they had to take turns. It was one of the few times any of them had space and time to themselves. The Normandy had more space than they did here. Nihlus almost wished the Reapers would find them, just to have an excuse to fly off this rock. Almost. He would miss the caves and the little alcove he and Sonya had found that was completely covered with blue moss. It was strange because it was dry and the moss seemed to only grow in moist areas in the rest of the caves. It had made for a romantic hide away for the two of them. Some place they could go that was just for them. They usually just sat and talked or relaxed in the silent peaceful glow. Today was different, though. He could sense it.

The moss was soft and the stone it grew on was smooth with a subtle curve like a flattened bubbled. He lay on his back, her thigh supported his neck. He wasn't quite sleeping, he could hear the drip of water outside the tunnel that led to their hide away and the sound of her steady breathing. The skin of her bare leg was warm under him. He could smell her musk and the tang in the air. He knew she was reading something on her data pad. Occasionally he herd the tap of her fingernail on the plastic. When she shifted it stirred him from his drowsing state.

"Sorry." She apologized.

"Don't mind it." He told her, and repositioned himself on his stomach to lay beside her. She gave his forehead a gently nudge.

"You almost look like an asari in this glow." He teased.

"Really, well, you almost look handsome!" She teased back.

He chuckled. He knew too well her attraction to him to be taken by the bad lie. Besides that, he could always smell when she was getting excited. She liked his smell too. She had told him as much the last time they were alone there. She'd said he reminded her of earth and the sea and a little like an herb called thyme. A 'manly smell', she'd told him. He leaned in and nuzzled her neck, breathing in her own aroma. None of the other turians had dared to say anything, but the glances had been there. The turian Councillor glared and gruffed, but when didn't he? If they were to blind to see how beautiful what the two of them had, then it was their ignorance.

An arm slipped over her back and she pressed her lips to his mouth. He felt certain he would never tire of her, no matter how often they were together. Which was a bit more than he had anticipated, given the circumstances. It seemed the more she got it the more she wanted it. He wasn't complaining, but a guy does need his sleep. Just not yet.

"I made you something." He told her.

His mandibles fluttered a nervous smile.

"You _made_ me something?"

Sonya looked at him in disbelief and then amused curiosity. She raised a brow at him. Her dark eyes were like jet in the blue glow of the cave. Nihlus reached for the pack that he always brought containing supplies like rope and a gun... just in case there was trouble. He pulled out two thick leather tubes that were about 18 centimeters long. They were strung up along one side in a 'x' pattern that reminded her of a corset.

"What is it?" She asked, trying not to offend him, but throughly confused.

Nihlus grinned at her. "They're cuffs to protect your thighs from..." He cleared his throat, "me."

Sonya grinned when the skin on his neck turned a little bluer, and not from the moss. His eyes caught the glow when he looked back up at her making them even more fierce and alluring than they already were.

"Thank you, that's very thoughtful."

She smiled and kissed his cheek just above his fluttering mandibles. She took the cuffs with her when she pulled away. The leather was smooth, and she was pretty sure it was a reddish brown, the altered color seemed similar to the skin of his throat. She started to remove her panties. Everything else was removed as soon as they got there. They liked the feel of the moss on their skin.

"What are you..." Nihlus spoke a little slower than usual as the last bit of material lost contact with her skin.

"Let's try them out!" Sonya smirked at him. "Show me how to put them on."

They both knew she knew how to put them on. It wasn't complicated. But if she wanted to roll play, he wouldn't argue. He took one from her five fingered hand and loosened the cord. She shifted her body and presented him with her muti-toed foot. However different she was, he found her incredibly sexy. He slid the cuff over her spur-less calf, over her knee and up her luscious thigh until the backs of his fingers on one hand touched the delicate folds of her ness. He saw the nub quiver inside it's hiding place when they did. It made resisting his urge to dive in extremely difficult. When she put her foot on his shoulder so he could tighten the cords along the back of the cuff he must have made some sort of noise, because she giggled at him. By the time he had the other cuff on his own wetness was dripping onto the moss and his member was fully exposed. She stood up, her head almost touched the ceiling, and modeled the new accessory for him. He had meant for them to be functional, he hadn't meant for them to be sexy too.

"_Spirits_..." He breathed.

She seemed to have that effect on him quite often.

"Like what you see, Spectre?" She teased him.

He didn't have to answer. All she needed to know was blue, wet and ribbed, pointing at her like an arrow. He couldn't stand in the small space, so he crawled over to her. His nose and tongue went strait for the thing that was at eye level, her navel. She moaned as he pressed his face against her mid section, nuzzling her and purring, lapping at her skin as he trailed down to the sweet stickiness that beckoned to his senses. He kept advancing on his knees as she backed away until her back hit the wall and forced to to the ground, writhing as his skilled tongue liberally explored and lapped at her sensitive area.

"Agh, no more..." She panted, "I..huh... can't take any... mmmore!"

"Mmmm..." He purred, "but you will!"

He pushed her legs wide when she tried to resist him. Her fingers went to his head, instinctively searching for hair that wasn't there. Her scramble for purchase was a crazing sensation on his fringe that only urged him deeper with a growl. Her release was a trickling stream that flowed out of her like so much sweet water. She used the force of her orgasm to push off the wall and catch him off guard. She pinned him, if only for a few seconds, to the floor of the cave. The grin that spread over his face told her of the trouble she was in for. He quickly and expertly overpowered her and trapped her beneath him. In one powerful thrust he was in her. Arching her back in response to his sudden presents inside her, she could only gasp and release a loud moan that fell flat in the small, moss padded space. She could cry out her pleasure as loud as she wanted and none would ever hear her, save the one who wrought such ecstacy upon her. His growls and purrs further roused her need of him, her want of him. The white paint that glowed blue and the piercing eyes of her lover forbade her to forget who it was that loved her now. She moaned his name and he pushed harder into her, drawing out every drop of her need as she quivered beneath him. When her legs quaked and her mouth trembled against his throat, he took in her scent and howled his release deep into her body. With Sonya pulled on top of him, her head resting on his chest, Nihlus lay on the moss stroking her hair. It was some time before either of them could breath well enough to speak or find steady strength to move. Out side the moss cover walls of their escape, the galaxy lay in peril, but his only thoughts were of the one that lay over him like a shroud. Being with her, having her love, made him happy.

* * *

The cuffs were a big hit. They worked and they were sexy. No chafing. No soreness. All pleasure. It was the best gift ever... except the Normandy of course. Everything was scheduled to be completed on the girl by evening the following day. She was tired and dirty as she left the hanger bay of the SR2 and headed for home and a shower. Nihlus would be sleeping before his shift. Garrus met her at the bottom of the ramp, covered with his own filth, to walk with her. Grease was smeared all over his face.

"Change colony allegiances?" She teased.

"Nope. I'm undercover for a special mission." He played.

"Oh, I see. Well, don't get caught with me then. You'll blow your cover."

"Naw, I'll just tell them you're a mole." He shrugged. She laughed. He smiled.

A comfortable silence fell between them. After a time Sonya spoke again.

"I'm ready to be off this rock." She told him. "The walls are more open than the Normandy's, but I feel trapped here. That would normally make me edgy, but I only feel that way in the pre-fab. I've always hated those things."

"I understand the feeling." He agreed.

They rounded a lake with a cluster of three crystal formation jutting out from the center tipped in blood red. Garrus' mandibles twitched as if he remembered something.

"One of the salarians was in engineering today. He wouldn't shut up."

Sonya grinned.

"But he told me that they think the red coloring in the crystal is some kind of bactria that gets inside when the crystal is newly forming. That's why it's only at the tips. It slowly grows and spreads it the weak stress fractures it creates inside the crystal itself. For all we know it could break out and kill us all."

"Oh..." She grumbled and smacked his arm. "Why can't it be a miracle cure?"

"Do you really thing the galaxy works that way?" He asked, looking down at her with a raised brow plate.

"I didn't used to," She admitted "Thane helped to change that."

Remembering the drell made her heart ache. She still missed him, still loved him. He had been something for her that she had needed that Garrus just couldn't be, though he had been what he could be for her at the time. She was thankful for her time with the drell. Garrus and Nihlus filled their role in her life, but neither of them could take Thane's place in her heart. She prayed from time to time to the gods he had believed in for his happiness in his faiths afterlife, and in any life he may have beyond should he be kindled anew. She prayed that he was reunited with Irikah. He deserved to have some happiness after the life he'd been force into. But for all his suffering he'd found love before the end. It was, in a way, his final lesson to her. She wondered if she would see him again when she died 'across the sea'.

"For example, look at what has happened with us! Just because bad things happen, doesn't mean good things can't. So the Reapers are wiping life off the face of the galaxy, it has brought so many species together that usually hate each other to fight for a common goal. If we can survive this, a whole new future awaits us that may have taken centuries to archive."

"Such a positive out look, Captain. When did that happen?" He teased.

"Hey, can't a girl have a good day?" She smiled.

Garrus didn't answer, but he acted like he understood. The barracks were at his finger tips shortly after.

"This is me. See ya later."

He nodded to Sonya and went strait for the shower.

* * *

"How's the Normandy coming along?"

She could hear David talking through the wash room walls. Pre-fab piece of crap.

"Good. We should be able to disembark in a day or two." Nihlus answered.

"I hate to see you go, but it'll be good to have the Normandy back on the battle field."

The battle field. The glory of killing a Reaper, of driving them back to dark space or ridding the universe of them all together, that was her goal. Not for the glory, but for the end result. For the chance at a life that might be something increasable. It was worth fighting for. A reason that was her own, not something superimposed upon her as an Alliance soldier, or Cerberus operative, or Spectre. She turned off the water and grabbed a towel. She passed David in the hall. He gave her a pat on the shoulder and a grin as he went to his room on the opposite end of the pre-fab. In the room she shared with her mate, Nihlus was already waiting for her. She crawled in next to him and he welcomed her into his arms. He curled his body around her. It was warm and comfortable against the plated and spurred raptor like alien she called husband to her human friends. Most of them didn't understand and a few were angry with her for not taking a human mate, but it wasn't their choice or their right to judge her. 'Dad' Anderson accepted it. He only wanted for her happiness. Most of her core crew felt the same. She was pretty sure one was even jealous, though that one had her own man. Nestled between the sheets for the few hours before Nihlus would rise for his shift on the Normandy, she slept soundly. Being with him and having his love made her happy.


	14. Hope

Alarms sounded through out the cavern. The unmistakable boom of weapons fire on the surface of the small moon echoed through the air. Somewhere a connecting passage to the lower levels collapsed adding it's sound to the din. Stalactites were shook loose from the roof of the caves. Hundreds died from falling rock alone. The foolish and the cowardly ran into the darkness of the caves deeper below the surface for the illusion of security. Most did not survive. Ships were maned. Defense guns still in process of being upgraded were fired. Civilians were herded to safety with the Council, except the human Councillor. David Anderson was busy seeing to those who staggard behind and to the children who'd been separated from their parents. The Council body guards tried to force him, but when he drew a gun on them they decided to assist him instead.

Kryik was already on the Normandy when the attack began. The upgrades had just been completed, but a full diagnostic had yet to be run. The Normandy would have to prove herself in battle. He no sooner had activated his omni-tool to alert Shepard and Vakarian than they appeared, ready for battle and bringing with them his armor, in the door way of the forward docking hatch. As she handed him his suit he found her hands beneath the plated garments. This was it. He locked eyes with her. Her face was hard and her throat was parched for Reaper blood. He briefly pressed his forehead to hers before they headed to their stations. Joker was not far behind them.

"Can't flight without a pilot." Joker proclaimed as he settled anxiously into his seat.

"That is not entirely accurate, Mr. Moreau." EDI corrected.

"Right, whatever... Let's kick some Reaper ass!" Joker shouted excitedly.

"Don't get to excited." Kryik said behind him, now fully armored.

"We don't know if these upgrades are functional. If all goes well, we will at least match them in fire power and shielding."

"So if don't blow up we've got a chance." Joker summed.

"Yes."

"I won't let the Normandy down." Joker assured him.

"Good." Kryik nodded.

"I think this was the best convo we've had sir." Joker teased.

Kryik grunted and walked away. He wasn't dumb and he wasn't deaf. He'd heard the pilots comments made as he walked away. They didn't need to like each other. Jeff Moreau only needed to fly admirably and keep everyone on board alive, especially his mate.

* * *

The Normandy roared to life on the front lines leading the defense against the attacking Reaper, at least they thought it was only one. Hoped. The Normandy was the defense that was fully upgraded. Garrus was more worried about blowing up than the equipment not working. It would either function and they would fight a more hopeful battle, or the Normandy would explode from within. That was it. He maned the newly added gun station in the cockpit. It wasn't part of the design or necessary with both Joker and EDI, but the battle would be intense. All the ones before had been. The pilot and EDI would have their hands full. It was up to him to fire the guns.

Vakarian took the controls in his talons. The felt good, felt right. Shepard and Kryik stood on either side of the pilot to monitor the information and give orders. Either of them could have been the picture in the dictionary beside the word 'warrior'. He was sure that if they could have shot lasers from their eyes they would have. The ridiculous thought eased his tension and focused his mind. He was ready. The signal to go pinged Joker's station.

"Okay, hold on to your asses!" Joker shouted.

The Normandy shot out of the crack in the moon's surface like a bolt of lighting followed by every partially upgraded ship the Alliance and Council had available. The Reaper was alone as it hovered over the surface like a giant cuttle fish firing molten metal at the surface of the moon.

"Everyone form two four squads and flank it, divide it's attention. On my mark!" Orders Captain Shepard.

The Normandy charged in. The new kinetic barriers were nearly invisible as the ship made her approach. Shepard waited for the Reaper to raise a tentacle at them.

"Mark!" Shepard shouted into the com.

The fleet of ships paired off, surrounding the Reaper in a wide circle. Joker pulled out of the line of fire just in time to miss being vaporized.

"Firing it's weapon at close range will damage itself, but stay out of reach of those arms! Old weapons distract for new weapons fire! I don't need to tell you to avoid getting hit!"

"I've got a shot. Hold her steady!" Garrus told Joker.

Vakarian didn't wait for the order to fire. He had a good shot at one of the eyes. It was kill time. He pulled the triggers and the Normandy jolted as the red beam shout out from under the cockpit. The other ships were already beating the Reaper with what may as well have been pebbles. When the Normandy's fire impacted the Reaper, cutting through it's shields, every ship with new guns took aim. The Reapers clearly didn't prepare to have their own technology turned against them. The hull was taking major damage. One of the tentacles was loosed from the main body in a series of shots. A tentacle flailed and swatted at a small group of frigates like flies. The entire division was lost, falling to crash on the surface like snow.

"Tell them to aim for the eyes! It's not like a normal ship, it can't hit what it can't see!" Garrus shouted.

"All ships, aim for the eyes! Repeat, aim for the eyes!"

Ship after ship swarmed the Reaper firing anything it had at the red glowing points along the outer edges of the Reaper. Several got to close and were knocked out of the sky by a sweeping arm. Others got to far. That was much more disastrous. A fiery shot from one tentacle exploded a ship that strayed too far out. The flying debris and molten metal took out several surrounding ships. Garrus fired again. There was only one eyes left. The Reaper was fighting blind.

"Why isn't it moving?" Joker asked allowed. "Why doesn't it just plow through us and use it's shields to destroy the fleet?"

"It's waiting for back up, it's a trap." Kryik stated calmly.

"You sound awfully calm about that, sir!" Joker said anxiously.

"He's right." Vakarian said, realizing the fact. "Once we let it know we had equal fire power it must have sent a message to the others. They know where we are now. We have to get out of here!"

"We should circle back and rescue the Council." Kryik told the Captain.

"No. I'm not leaving the battle until that thing has been taken out. We're not going to leave a wounded Reaper that can be repaired."

She open communication with the fleets.

"More are coming," She announced, "but we're not going to retreat. Not yet. Leave them a message. Show them that we will defeat them, even if we have to do it one at a time!"

Closing the chanel she nodded to Vakarian with eyes like the hull of the Reaper itself. He got the message and opened fire. Shepard thought she could hear the Reaper scream as the last of it's arms were severed from the main body and it's eyes were burned out. She thought she could hear it's death cry as it crashed into the moon below, likely destroying caverns within for kilometers around.

"All ships to the base! Now!" She ordered.

The Reaper was on fire. It would likely explode. When it did, it would take half the moon with it. There wasn't time.

"Joker, alert the Council, they need to get out of there ten minutes ago!"

The Normandy landed in the hanger of the base. Things were burning. Walls had collapsed. Rock fell from over head large enough to crush a man. She had to get the Council and as many survivors as she could. The Normandy was their best bet at survival. She had to get David. Garrus stayed to man the guns per her orders. He knew it was the right decision. No matter how much he wanted to go with her and make sure she came back, his place was here. He was covering her back like he always did. Kryik went with her, as he should.

The cavern was collapsing around them. Shepard did her best to keep pace with the turian. The ground shook. More rocks fell, barely missing them. They found the Council, their guards and the other survivors running toward them from the shelters that had collapsed on top of them even as the Temple itself cracked and crumbled. Shepard ran to Anderson.

"What happened, did everyone make it? We have to get you on the Normandy, now! Everyone follow me! I'll take as many as I can. There are other ships!"

They started running.

"We killed the Reaper, but more are coming." Shepard explained as they ran.

"That must have been what brought down the shelter." David panted. "We lost civilians. A few soldiers."

Shepard glanced back at the Council. None of them had escaped a cut or a bruise, but they were alive. Then something teal and red caught her eye. Something that was waving and shouting her name. It was Kolyat.

"Nihlus, get Anderson and the Council on board." She ordered.

"Where are you...?" Anderson tried to ask, but she was gone before he could finish the sentence.

Through the crowd stampeding like frightened cows, Shepard fought to reach the son of Thane.

"Shepard!" He shouted.

"Kolyat!"

He was pushed into her by the crowd running for their lives. She caught him before he could fall and be trampled. His dark eyes met hers. For a brief moment she was reminded of Thane.

"Hurry! I'll get you on the Normandy!"

"Wait!" He shouted.

"Are you crazy!" Shepard shouted back.

"No, my wife, she's pregnant, but I can't carry her alone."

"What? Where is she?"

"I'll go get her. Wait for us!"

"You left her? You're not going alone!"

Shepard grabbed Kolyat's hand and drug him out of the crowd. She followed him as she ran back to the shelter. The roof had caved in. It was a wonder any had survived. On the steps, far from the entrance, sat a very lovely, very pregnant, young drell female. Her coloring was much lighter than Kolyat's, almost golden. When she looked up at the Captain her eyes made Shepard hesitate in her tracks for she saw the setting of the sun in them as Thane must have seen in Irikah's eyes. Kolyat must have known her thoughts, because he nodded a smiled.

"Common, we have to get her out of here." Shepard ordered.

* * *

Kryik and Anderson waited at the top of the ramp to the hangar bay. When Kryik spotted his mate with two drell, one very pregnant. He and Anderson ran to help.

"Shepard!"

"Kryik, help me."

The turian paused long enough to pick up the woman. There was no time to be careful. The cavern was cracking. It would come down on them at any moment. He ran, the woman's arms clung tightly around his neck.

"It'll be okay." He told her. I might have been a lie, but he did his best to calm the panic in the young mother's eyes.

* * *

"Joker, go! Now!"

Kryik shouted the order as the air locks closed behind the last survivor. There hand't been as many as they thought. The rest of the armada was holding off the Reaper scouts that plagued the collapsing entrance to the caves.

"Everyone into FTL!" Shepard shouted over the com. "Now!"

The Normandy jumped. It would be half an hour before they knew how many, if any, survived to follow.

"Well, we didn't blow up." Joker said.

"That's great. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a head count and see to Kolyat and his wife."

"Wife? Kolyat?" Garrus asked, not hiding his surprise.

Shepard walked away.

"Yes. Apparently he was one of the survivors. I don't know why we never saw him before today. His wife is close to term." Kryik explained.

Garrus' mandibles relaxed in the turian version of a jaw drop as he looked up from the chair and nodded. Nihlus left to assist Shepard and the doctors. There were a few besides Chakwas, mostly salarian. He found her in the port observatory sitting at the foot of the single bed. At the head stood Kolyat holding his wife's hand as she lay next to him very worried and very scared.

"Doctor Chakwas will be here as soon as she can." Shepard assured the drell. "Everything will be okay."

"Is she alright?" Nihlus asked.

"She thought she felt a contraction, but there hasn't been one for a while." Kolyat explained.

Nihlus took a seat at the desk.

"What's you're name?" Sonya asked the woman, smiling.

The woman looked up at her husband. He grinned and nodded.

"You can trust her. She's the commander I told you about."

The woman's face lit up with surprise and relief.

"I am called Rya." She smiled.

"It's good to meet you." Sonya nodded her head as a kind of half bow.

She was fascinated by the exposed swell of the woman's belly. Her belly button had smoothed out flat and the skin between her scales kept to the same coloring. She always wondered if it would be different. She saw a section jump. Rya smiled.

"The baby is moving." She said, looking up at Kolyat.

He put is had over the spot and grinned when the one inside pushed against his hand. Sonya was taken back a bit when he grabbed her hand and put it over the spot. She tired to pull back.

"It's okay." Rya told her. "I wan't you to feel him."

Sonya relaxed and let her hand rest over the smooth skin and polished scales. It was like touching a crawling snake when the baby inside moved under her touch, but very, very warm.

"You know he's a boy?" She asked.

"Yes." Kolyat answered.

"Have you decided on a name?"

Rya glanced up at Kolyat. He smiled down at her, then back at Shepard with tears in his eyes.

"Thane, after my father."

The lump quickly built in her throat when she heard the name and passed into tears of her own. She let them show. It seemed to be their way. The babe moved again under her touch.

"Thane..." She whispered.


	15. Life

Everything was fine with Rya's pregnancy, though the arrival could come at any time. Most of the armada had survived the jump. In a few hours they would rendezvous with the Quarian Flotilla, what was left of it, to continue up grades and share the new technology with them. Time was more precious now than ever. The Reapers knew how to find them and knew they possessed formidable fire power and shielding. Whatever passivity the sentient ships may have had in the passed was erased when they gained that knowledge.

Shepard entered her cabin, exhausted and dirty. She left her armor in the floor as she proceeded to the wash room. She let the warm water run over her as she sat with her back in the corner and her head on her knees. She had started to doze off when the doors opened. She peeked out from between strands of wet hair to see who had come to disturb her, to tired to be modest or defensive.

Nilhus' white face appeared in the door way. "Would you still have greeted me with such nonchalantness if I were not myself?"

"Maybe..." Sonya groaned.

He left his armor next to hers on the floor and sat next to her under the shower head.

"Can you believe we have Thane's son and grand child on board?" She asked. "I wish he could have met her... and the baby."

Nihlus sighed. If Thane had been around to see his family... He let the thought fade away and slipped an arm around her.

* * *

Flotilla was waiting near by, readying to dock with them, it gave him some mild comfort. A safety in numbers kind of thing. He wondered how the geth were holding off on their front and why Legion had not contacted them. He also worried about the rachni. The queen had promised to help, but no word had been sent. Then there was Cerberus. The Illusive Man could betray them at any time if he thought it would save humanity. He watched her sleep in his arms and gently nuzzled her hair until he dozed off, the worries turning to lucid dreams. Nihlus curled around her, forming himself to her. He purred softly as he dreamt. He woke early the next morning to her dark eyes watching him sleep.

"Sonya..." He purred.

"Shhh..." She hushed him and pressed her mouth to his.

"Nihlus..." She whispered his name quietly against the skin of his throat.

"Captain Shepard?"

EDI interrupted.

"What is it EDI?" Shepard asked a bit harsher than she'd meant to.

"The Quarian vessel Neema will be ready to link up with the Normandy in one hour. They request your presents."

"Thank you EDI. I'll be up shortly."

"I'd better go." Sonya whispered.

Nihlus nuzzled her, relishing the feel of her warmth and her softness. Sonya reluctantly left his ams and dressed. She briefly nuzzled him and averted her eyes for a moment before she looked back up into the peridot glow his her lovers eyes.

"I was going to tell you tomorrow, but..." Her soft words trailed off.

Nihlus' grin faded and his brow plates furrowed.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked "Are you ill?"

"No... I don't know how it's possible, but doctor Chakwas confirmed it before I came to bed last night."

Nihlus sat up, worried.

"It's okay... I think." She offered a weak grin. "Please, hold me like you were."

He complied, though unsettled and rigid with worry as she curled in next to him wearing her Alliance uniform.

"I love you." She told him. "You know that right?"

"Of course."

He nuzzled her and took one of her hands in his.

"And I you. Now what's this about?"

"We're... the doc and I, We're 99% sure that..." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly."Well, we think I'm pregnant."

"I can see where you would be concerned." He said, shock keeping his voice calm.

A few silent moments passed. He didn't move or speak. He could hardly take breath. Sonya began to feel uncomfortably nervous. He felt her heart flutter against his hand.

"We can't have any babies until the Reaper threat is removed. I'm going down to help Garrus." Nihlus said decidedly, and abruptly left the bed.

"We're going to have a child?" He asked, mostly to himself.

Sonya grinned on the bed. She'd never seen him so rattled.

"It'll be okay. You'll be okay..."

He rushed about the room dressing and touching things, but doing nothing with them. Sonya watched, amused from the bed.

"Nihlus, I'm pregnant not dying." She smiled.

"Yes, but..." He paused, realizing he was talking as fast as a salarian. He settled on the edge of the bed next to her and cradled her head in one hand. He slipped his talons up into her hair and nuzzled her.

"I love you. I'm going to take care of you... and our child." He told her and placed a hand over her belly. "I don't know how it's possible, but..."

Nihlus grinned and pressed his mouth to hers.

"How will we raise it? Traditional turian values aren't exactly the same as humans' on many subjects."

"We'll work it out." Nihlus stated.

"Yes..." She said and averted her eyes.

"We'll figure it out." He assured her. "For now I need to make sure the galaxy will be a safer place for our baby to be born into."

He nuzzled her once more with eyes closed. Then left for the command deck. His words comforted her, but did not ease her worry. She put a hand to her belly where a turian seed grew in her human womb. A single tear left her eye to darken the sheets. She brushed the wet trail away with the back of her hand and headed out for the Neema.


	16. Oh Boy

Shepard walked the halls of the Flotilla in a full bio-suit. Tali and Garrus would meet her in engineering. She was curious why the Neema had requested Garrus instead of her, but at the time she had other things on her mind.

The old, battered doors of engineering hissed open. She could see the two of them hovering over a console arguing over some manifold or something. She wasn't the techy. Another reason she liked having Garrus around. Sure she could hack a security system, but anything mechanical more complicated than how to hot wire a car was better left to others.

"What are you two fighting about now?" Shepard said as she came up behind them.

"Shepard! It's good to see you!" Tali exclaimed as she turned and hugged the captain. "I'm so glad you're here. These new upgrades, if we can manage them, should at least put us on a level playing field with the Reapers. I guess it was a good thing we kept the base?"

"In hind sight, yes. At the time my reasons were... more personal." Shepard said.

"Of course. I didn't mean to... Well, let's get to the task at hand, shall we? Garrus seems to think we should use a ..."

"I don't _think_. I _know_." Garrus rudely interrupted. His facial expressions were hidden by his helmet, but Shepard could picture them pretty well according to his muffled tone of voice..

"If you used that piece of_ junk_," He pointed angrily at the display, "you're going to short out your _power relays_ and be dead in the water. _DEAD_! _Understand_? Or does that not _translate_ into _quarian_?"

"Now you listen to me, you _bosh'tet_, I've been working on _this ship _for _just as long_ as _you've _been on the _Normandy_. I_ think_ I_ know my ship_!"

Garrus started to say something that would probably be much more insulting when Shepard decided it was a good time to interrupt.

"Okay, okay... I think everybody needs a break. Let's go get some lunch or something."

"Yeah, that sounds appetizing, watching her shove a straw of gray matter into her suit and listening to her slurp up her liquid dietary requirements. I'm starving!" Garrus stated sarcastically and crossed his arms.

"What the _hell_ do _you _eat? They look like giant bugs!" Tali shot back.

"And they're so good too. Nice and hot and crunchy, _mmmmmmmm_!" Garrus teased.

"You two better quit or I'm going to think you're flirting!" Shepard said with a smirk and crossed her own arms to make a point.

Garrus immediately stood a little straiter.

"Bosh'tet." Tali quipped.

"You too, please." Shepard raised a brow at her friend.

"Fine." Tali sighed.

"You know, I'd hoped that you two could learn to get along. You're certainly old enough to figure out how to stop acting like children." Shepard teased.

"Yeah, yeah, okay... you've made your point. Where do we go for bugs and paste?" Garrus grumbled.

* * *

It took months for all the upgrades to be completed. Constantly on the move to avoid being discovered by the Reapers slowed progress and made it difficult to complete outer hull reinforcement. After much debate and deliberation, Shepard and Anderson convinced the Flotilla to relinquish one of their ships for the Council, their guards and soldiers, and the survivors they'd found so far. The ship was small, but would accommodate the requisition, and was well armed and shielded in the case of an attack. Another moon or astroid would need to be found. The Council could not stay within the militant body and risk destruction. The night before the members to be transported, Rya delivered Thane Atmin Krios. Atmin meaning 'in memory of' or 'in honor of' Thane. Kolyat had asked the Captain to share the birth with his family because she had been important to his father. Shepard had the honor of giving the baby to Rya after he had been cleaned and examined for health. She almost couldn't give up the little bundle. He cooed at her with his tiny mouth. His scales were so small, like diamond dust on his skin. His coloring was pale green, but would darken over then next year. He looked so much like his grandfather with similar markings to his mother. Sonya wondered if she was holding the rekindling of the Thane she knew. Gingerly handing the baby over to his parents, Shepard found another reason that was hers to fight. A few days latter a flutter in her belly would remind her of one closer to home than any other.

* * *

The armada was building. After the up grades had been completed, the fleets of ships moved out in search of their enemy. Instead they found the geth and the rachni. They were working together and had suffered many casualties as had the Alliance and the Council races. It took some convincing, mostly of the Flotilla, to join forces with the geth. Shepard had hope of meeting Legion, but since he returned to his people after rewriting the heretics, his programs and information gathered by him had been shared. When she asked about him they would answer; 'We are geth', 'We are Legion'. The one that she knew was now all of them. She understood, but she didn't. The human in her wanted to cling to a single identity, a single individual. Among the geth, this was not a concept. They understood it, but did not share it. Even though they all had his memories, she felt as though she had lost a friend.

* * *

She was far enough along in the pregnancy that she was starting to show. She could still pull off the 'bloated' excuse when asked. Garrus didn't know. Nihlus was beginning to suggest that he be told soon, and she would agree then offer a reason not to. She just didn't have the heart. He was her best friend, but he had also been her mate for a time. Uncertainty of how he would handle the news kept her tight lipped. She didn't tell anyone or risk communication with the Council to tell Anderson. Nihlus would accept the child because it was hers, but she wondered how other turians would react or if they child would even look turian. She had to many questions to count. Chakwas did her best to provide answers with scans and an ultrasound. Most indicators pointed to a perfect blend. Accepted by both in theory, accepted by neither more likely.

As she lay beside her mate that night, her finger trailed over the white markings on his rust colored metallic carapace. His bright eyes had long been sheathed behind dark lids. He purred lightly in his sleep. He never made a sound when he slept alone. She grinned at his breath's betrayal of his deeper emotions for her. Eventually she gave in to sleep curled in his arms. Early the next morning, Shepard rose to go see Doctor Chakwas and a salarian doctor that was working in Mordin's old lab. Dr. Jeron specialized in the study of interspecies relations. It was a coincidence that Shepard didn't trust, but she needed his knowledge if her child was going to survive. Her biggest concern at the moment was the difference in her amino-acid make up and the child's. So far there had been no detectable problems, so no counter measures had been taken. The further the pregnancy continued, the closer Chakwas monitored her. Her palms were sweaty and her fingers flexed nervously. Nihlus insisted on going with her despite her protests that she would be fine.

"I'm going because I want to." He told her. "It's not just you this has happened to."

So she relented. As the two of them entered the med-bay the salarian looked up from his vials and tubes.

"Ah! There you are Captain."

Dr. Jeron greeted her with a wave of a blue three fingered hand. Dr. Chakwas sat calmly at her desk.

"Good morning, Captain. How are you feeling this morning?" Chakwas asked her as she turned toward her in her chair.

"I'm feeling a little queazy, but nothing sever." Sonya answered.

She took a seat across from the doctor on one of the beds. Her stomach fluttered and she thought she might vomit, but she didn't.

"Looking a bit pale." The salarian noted. "It is to be expected. As this is your first child, I would normally offer advice on what to expect, but no way to know under the circumstances. Which news would you prefer to hear first?"

He reminded Sonya of a blue, speckled Mordin with both horns. His bronze ringed eyes seemed excited. She felt like she was some sort of fascinating experiment for him. It helped to have Chakwas there with her as a humanizing element, and Nihlus, of course.

"The good news." Sonya smirked.

The salarian blinked at her.

"There is no _bad _news, Captain." Chakwas told her. "We have a few concerns, naturally. Yours is a very _unusual_ pregnancy to say the least."

"I understand." Sonya nodded. "Well, let's start with why I've got a bun in the oven to begin with. Any more progress on _that_?"

"One should never leave cooking food unattended, Shepard!" Dr. Jeron exclaimed.

Sonya laughed. "Not literally. It's a figure of speech humans sometimes use when addressing pregnancy."

"Ah, yes... should have realized." Dr. Jeron muttered and busied his hands with his omni-tool running scans over her midsection.

"Well, Captain, I can tell you that the child seems to be developing along turian genealogy. The fascinating part is that the nano technology Cerberus used to help put you back together has been suppling the fetus with the proper amino acids. As long as they continue to do so, we shouldn't have to worry about that. There is some risk that you may go into annaphylactic shock."

Nihlus glanced to Chakwas then to Jeron with stern concern.

"But it is a very low risk. If you were going to have a reaction it's likely that it would have already happened." Chakwas explained.

"You may begin experiencing strange carvings, beyond what a human may ordinarily experience." Jeron added. "Do you wish to know the gender of the child?"

His omni-tool paused over one side of her abdomen.

"That part wouldn't be developed yet, would it?" Sonya asked, surprised.

"Can tell you based on genetic sampling, not by visual confirmation." Jeron explained.

"Okay, sure." Sonya shrugged. "I mean, do you want to know?"

Sonya looked up at Nihlus as he stood beside her with the question. He nodded.

"He is a health boy." Jeron grinned at her and then the turian.

She grinned back. Salarian smiles always made her uneasy. They didn't look quite natural.

"That's great news." She told him. "So, not that I'm unhappy,exactly, but how did this happen?

"How indeed." Chakwas said with a knowing grin.

"The preliminary studies the research teams have done on the moss samples they collected are inconclusive. We don't know anything for sure. All we know is you and your husband were exposed during intercourse, you've conceived, and the child bears DNA from both of you. He may be the first turian to have hair or brown eyes or more than three fingers. The implications are unknowable until we see the development." Jeron explained.

"_Spirits_..." Sonya breathed. Now she understood why Jeron was so giddy.

Doctor Chakwas smiled at her. She seemed genuinely happy about the situation. But she wasn't the one growing a freak inside of her.

"Thank you doctors... I... I have to go."

Nihlus helped Sonya off the bed and they left. The pregnant mother grabbed an apple on her way up to her cabin. She threw the empty core away in the trash receptor when she walked through to doors. She was still tired, more than she should have been, but the new information throbbed in her mind. She drank some water and checked her messages. There was a heavily encrypted one from Anderson.

D.S. S.

We are safe.

L. D.A.

D.S.S.; Dearest, Sonya Shepard. L. D. A.; Love, David (daddy) Anderson. It was his way. Simple, safe and let her know what she needed to know. She wouldn't be able to respond or tell him about his 'grandchild', but she hoped that he would get to hold the baby when he was born without hiding in a cave on some god forsaken rock. A warm, taloned hand eased onto her shoulder. She pulled her eyes from the screen and looked up into the strong face of the Spectre who had done more than train her for the honor of joining his elite group.

"It's a boy." She smiled.

His mandibles spread wide in a smile.

"He's yours..." She told him. His smile widened. "He's ours."

"Of course he is. We're a family."

Nihlus knelt by her chair and looked up at her. He ran a hand lovingly through her hair.

"It's okay. Whatever happens, we'll get through it." Nihlus assumed her.

She grinned at his tender heart, but she doubted he would be so understanding or gentle with those who spit on their son for being what he was.

"You're starting to really show, my love." Nihlus kept eye contact as he placed a hand on her swell. "Don't you think it's time we told our friends the truth?"

Sonya nodded, her eyes fell to where his hand rested against her. It was a very distinct shape. If someone still believed she was gaining weight or bloated then there was some denial going on. She had a feeling she'd know just where she might find some.


	17. Telling

There was no warning. No sensors detecting their approach. Even the geth were taken by surprise. Ships on all sides were lost in the initial attack before the new shields could be brought on line. It was almost as if the Reapers had simply appeared out of space itself. Some sort of cloaking technology perhaps. It was not an ability that had been displayed before. With no contact from Cerberus since Miranda delivered the upgrade blue prints, it made everyone suspect that they were aiding the Reapers in exchange for their own survival. It was a foolish bargain on Cerberus' part if it were true. The Reapers were not interested in other life forms. Only in any purpose that might serve themselves. The Illusive Man was not one to be foolish. That more than anything gave Shepard cause for alarm in regards to the organization.

The Normandy veered hard to port to avoid weapons fire from the lead ship. Harbinger himself was heading the attack and he was bent on destroying Shepard and her ship. Garrus fired the main guns. The blast hit the scarab like ship, but only inflicted marginal damage. Shepard ran up behind him. It was the first time she'd seen him since he'd left the Loft.

"They're taking damage, but so are we." He told her.

"We've lost three geth ships since the shields went up, four quarian. The Neema is still in play. I'm pretty sure we've lost at lest one and the volis are down to one." Joker informed her.

"Give those bastards all we've got. The end of the Reapers begins today!"

She couldn't have known how right she was because in her own mind in was a lie to rally the troops. Though many ships and many more lives were lost that day, Harbinger did not leave the battle field. It was an inspirational victory and the beginning of a hard war in what had begun as a harvest.

Recovering from the battle took days. The volis forces were decimated. The Alliance lost four ships, including Admiral Hackett's vessel. The Council races as a whole lost ten ships. The rachni's forces were depleted by a third of their compliment and the geth totaled four ships to the list of destroyed. The Flotilla's numbers had been cut in half. The Neema had been ripped apart. Few of the crew survived. Tali and Kal' Reager were among them. Non-Council races had too few ships from the start being hit hardest before the Citadel was destroyed. Their numbers were only marginally effected. Services for the fallen were held aboard the lead ship for their people's representation. After the bodies were shot into the system's suns to prevent the remains from being used by the Reapers, the armada hid on or near various moons in the system until repairs could be made.

It had been a long few days. Shifts were scheduled around the clock. The crew ran itself ragged to beat the dead line for scheduled departure. It was only a goal, but they intended to keep it. None worked harder than the Captain and her turian officers. Chakwas had to order Shepard to bed on several occasions. Once after a dizzy spell that sent the captain to the floor.

The next morning Sonya woke to find herself alone. Her belly was rounder now and she had to scoot herself over to the edge of the bed to get up. Sonya slowly got out of the bed and went strait to the toilet. She never wanted to be pregnant again with any species if it meant constant trips to the porcelain throne. She showed and dressed, trying not to worry about the baby or the Reapers and the fate of the galaxy. It was difficult to keep the thoughts away.

A few minutes latter Shepard stood behind Joker's chair as he prepared for the next jump. She glanced over at Garrus as he manned the gun controls. Nihlus was busying himself with tedious tasks to keep his mind from frying with worry. Her own anxiety must have been pouring off of her like the heat she now generated because Joker called over his shoulder to her with one of his usual quips.

"So, Captain, how long 'til we've got three turians aboard?"

She felt like putting a bullet in his head when he said that, thinking of Garrus only a couple meters away. But when Garrus simply continued his calibrations without a sign that he'd noticed, not only did she know he knew, but it revealed that he clearly wasn't dealing with the information well.

"Okay, bad joke, but still?" Joker said, oblivious. "I mean, Nihlus was best buds with the guy who was helping to destroy the galaxy and tried to shoot him in the head! I mean, how do you dodge a point black shot to the back of the head! That's gotta be worth somethin' in the sa..."  
"Joker!" Shepard nearly jumped through the chair to cut him off. "Please, don't say another word!"

She gave him a few seconds to not say anything. When he kept his tongue, she decided to use the opportunity to indirectly give Garrus the details, if he chose to listen. She almost hoped it would goad him into confronting the issue before they found Reapers.

"Good. Now Dr. Chakwas and Dr. Jeron both believe I have about a month left to go because the baby is fully developed." She waddled her way between them and sat down on a dividing half beam. "We haven't come up with a name, yet. So don't ask.."

"Taevus Vakarian. Sounds strong!" Garrus said suddenly, and not with care of thought, but bitterness.

"Garrus, I would have told you. I just didn't want any negative reactions."

"I think you waited until it was a little obvious, don't you?" He spat.

"Garrus..."

The blue faced turian stood and left the helm. He needed to cool off, but she followed him. She should have known better. She did know better, but she wasn't going to let the matter remain unsettled any longer.

She expected him to go for the elevator. When he brushed passed Nihlus and went for the armory instead, her heart beat a little faster. Surely he wouldn't..., but as the doors opened he veered to the hall and the com room. He knew she was preparing for an argument with him, so he lead her to the best place to have one. The com room.

The doors shut behind her and Garrus stood, at full height and arms crossed, in front of the console table.

"It's a boy, isn't it." He said coolly.

"He is." Shepard answered and clasped her hands behind her back.

Garrus lowered his head and averted his eyes.

"Nihlus and I are going to have a son." She told him."I hoped you would be happy for us."

"He could have been _mine_! He could have been _our_ son!" Garrus growled at her.

"You made your choice, Garrus." She reminded him.

"Because I thought it was the right one. Not because..." He trailed off. Telling her would defeat the purpose of being selfless.

"You didn't want to." Sonya finished for him.

'Damn it.' He thought. He didn't have to acknowledge it.

"I thought I was over that. I was over it until..."

His eyes flicked to her belly then the floor.

Sonya didn't know what to say. What could she say? Then the baby kicked. She looked at her friend and took steps toward him to be his friend.  
"Would you like to feel the baby move?" She asked.

The question caught him off guard. Even more so when she took his hand and placed it over the heat of her swell. He felt a push and bumps in her skin, like a tiny turian hand or a fringe. His eyes grew wide when it moved. Sonya giggled. He let out a nervous chuckle. She still made him nervous. He wondered if Nihlus ever felt nervous then his hand received another push. She made the Spectre nervous alright, just in a different way now. Garrus' mandibles spread in a grin.


	18. Nihlus x Sonya

"_Craig_?" He scoffed.

"What? What's wrong with Craig?" She glanced over at him with her face still in her hands.

"Craig, Sonya? Really? He's turian. It's a human name." Nihlus argued.

She sat up then, slow and with knitted brow.

"Why can't he have a human name? He's a half me ya know!" She glared at him.

"He's male and his father is turian." Nihlus argued. It was their first real fight.

Nihlus sighed then offered an alternative. "Faustus? Faustus Kryik?"

"Faustus David Kryik?" Sonya scoffed.

"David?" Nihlus asked.

"Yes, _David_." She said mockingly. "I'm tired. Let's just go to bed."

The turian smiled at the little human who rubbed her big, dark eyes with many little fingers and yawned. Nihlus scooped her off the sofa and they all climbed into the bed, sandwiching her in the middle, and went to sleep.

* * *

It really was quite something when she thought about it. An outcast of his own people who became a Spectre would sire a son that would be the beginning of a whole new world. A turian of a human mother. His life would be difficult no matter who his father or mother may be if for no other reason than that he was the first and only of his kind. That made her think of the Collectors and subsequently the Reapers. He would be a prime target if the Reapers ever found out he existed. All the more reason to destroy them before she came to term, which could be any day. Over all she was happy about the pregnancy despite certain discomforts. As her mate frequently told her, they could only take it a day at a time. They both preferred a plan, but there was no plan for this.

Sonya nuzzled into Nihlus for comfort as the thoughts taunted her. Somehow being surrounded by teeth, spurs, claws and plates made her feel a little safer, but she knew it was an illusion. Even in his sleep the raptor like alien would appear ferocious to those who did not knew him, but she knew him and how vulnerable he could be. He was just as mortal, though he acted as if he were not. It was part of what she loved about him, but it to was an illusion. She traced a finger over Nihlus' face paint as she watched him sleep. Of corse she was bias, but she thought his was the most beautiful of the designs, at least on him. He pulled it off well. Other turians baring the same marks just didn't look as attractive in them. But again, she was bias. She tried to sleep, but the baby was keeping her awake rolling and poking her. She would likely go for a c-section just because of the possibility of fringe and spur. There would be no scars thanks to that lovely bit of machinery she'd purchased for her face, but recovery would take longer. Plus, she didn't know the first thing about infant turians. Much less hybrid miracle ones. What would he eat? drink? Could she nurse him? Would she? Sonya began to feel worse about putting her child through so much hardship and he wasn't even born yet. She tried to bury her face in Nihlus' chest to hide from her thoughts, but it didn't work. When the silent alarms started flashing she felt more tired than ever as the dread of what was about to happen fell on her like a net of rocks.

Nihlus was up in seconds, dressed and running to the command deck. Sonya was a little slower. Halfway to the door he stopped and came back to help her. She was hardly in any condition to Command, but there was little choice. Reapers had been spotted. They needed to prepare for battle.

* * *

She felt so useless clinging to Joker's head rest and giving orders. She was trained to be a soldier; fire guns, blaze blue with biotic furry, annihilate her enemy in hand to hand if need be. She could utilize none of that against the Reapers as they floated off the starboard bow firing at her and the armada. Vakarian was guns, Joker was nav., set up, defensive and offensive maneuvering, Kryik was strategy. What was she? A dumpster for old Prothean knowledge that didn't help them win battles. Sure she had tactical skills, but it seemed redundant with the turians around. With all the motion and noise and gunfire, the little one inside her was calm as ever in the heat of battle. He must have gotten that from his father. She would have smiled if the Normandy wasn't dodging molten metal projectiles.

Joker pulled hard to port, avoiding debris from a destroyed vessel; Alliance. Many more losses and there wouldn't be any Alliance ships left, save the Normandy. Joker handled her well and so far they had only suffered minor damage.

Garrus fired the guns scoring a direct hit to a critical area. It looked like the Reaper had lit a gastrointestinal release. Garrus laughed as well as Joker. She wasn't surprised. Men could be so immature. When the fire suddenly seemed to disappear, the two stopped laughing and resumed battle face. A few moments later EDI offered a warning.

"Mr. Moreau, the Reaper is sustaining massive internal damage due to wide spread fire from in intake manifolds and will likely explode when the heat build up reaches critical levels. I suggest a clearance distance for the armada of at least one light year."

"Understood," Shepard answered for him. "Joker, relay the intel and get us the hell outta here!"

"Aye, aye, ma'm. Just point me in a direction." Joker replied.

"Illium. They won't go looking twice where they've already harvested and destroyed."

"Yes, ma'm."

Earth had been hard to see, but even harder was Palavan. It was the only time she'd ever seen Garrus shed a tear. It had quickly turned to anger. That night he told her about his family in detail for the first time. How his mother had been sick and about his sister; Solana. Sonya wished she could have met them. She woke at some point in the night to find him quietly mourning them into his pillow. She never told him she knew about that. It was a stolen moment that she felt guilty for stumbling upon. She'd wanted to comfort him, but wasn't sure how. Knowing that he knew she was there for him only made it worse when he'd seemed determine to handle it on his own. He still struggled, but he was past the tears. Those had dried up long before Nihlus had woken from his slumber. Now she looked down on another desecrated world. She had no attachment to the world itself, but the sheer number of lives that had been lost there shook her. It was where she'd met Thane. It was where Nihlus had died. For that part she was sorry he had to set foot on the planet again. She worried about him. It was also home to Liara and Liara's mate; Feron. She hoped the two of them had survived somehow, but in the years since Illium had been hit she'd never heard from or saw her friends. As it was with Garrus' family, no proof to show death or escape, she assumed they were dead.

Most of the armada made it. Several scout teams were sent out to look for anything they could use for repairs, supplies etc. They also searched for any survivors that may have come to Illium or simply avoided death during the first attack and had not been found in previous sweeps. It wasn't likely, but any chance of finding people was a welcome one. The galaxy would need re-populated and rebuilt when the Reapers were defeated.

Shepard wanted to go down and look for Liara and Feron, but in her condition the doctor forbade it. She would have gone anyway, but Garrus and Nihlus were adamant about her staying behind and threatened to mutiny and lock her in her cabin just to keep her safely aboard. They went in her stead and she occupied the gunner's chair while they were gone and made Joker very uncomfortable with her moderately larger belly so near the firing controls.

* * *

They could have been anyone with the helmets on, hiding their faces, as they waded through melted metal and ash that was probably more remains of people than anything else. It wasn't something they wanted to think about.

"I think we're near where Liara's apartment used to be." Garrus said.

He poked a a large rock that looked familiar, like it was in a display case in her home or something. Or it could have been wishful thinking. He wanted to find them for Sonya, find them alive. Help give her some hope, not that he had much himself. It was hard to be happy about bringing his son into a galaxy that might not be around much longer.

"Do you really think they survived?" Nihlus scoffed.

"No, probably not... But I'm still going to look." Garrus replied.

"Of corse. I'm not suggesting... never mind." Nihlus shook his head.

He was too worried about Sonya to concentrate. He kept wondering if she would go into labor without him being there, or if the Reapers would find the armada while he and Garrus were on the surface, or if she or the child would survive delivery and what they would do after if he did? He wasn't prepared to care for a turian child, much less a hybrid one. None of his father's wise words gave him any comfort. Walking over the remains of the dead with the empty stench of old destruction didn't help either. Knowing the Reapers would be back to clean up the mess helped even less. In fact, that made it worse.

"There's nothing here." He told Garrus. "There will be less than nothing when the Reapers are done with it. Let's go back to the ship."

"Are you okay?" Garrus asked.

Nihlus glanced over at the black and blue armor that spoke to him through a com link in the helmet. He wondered why Garrus wasn't more distraught. Maybe it was because Garrus hadn't died here. Underneath it all, the ash and the worries was the moment of fear he'd felt when he realized he was going to die. In a way he was selfishly glad the planet was blackened. It helped keep the memories a little fuzzy. He would never forget the pain. It didn't plague him or give him night mares. Maybe it should have, but it didn't. He did, however, recall the pain from time to time and wince as if the memory would bring the experience to life. He had read some of Sonya's reports. He did not envy the perfect memory of drell. Not if it meant reliving moments like those with perfect clarity.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Let's just get back. I've got this feeling like... Let's just get back."

"Okay."

* * *

For once Nihlus' intuition had simply been in his head and not a reality. Though Joker might have disagreed. Having Shepard sitting in the gunner's chair telling him about the pregnancy and trying to describe how truly alien it felt to have something moving and growing inside her was enough to make him queazy himself. When Kryik and Vakarian walked in through the forward docking hatch Joker spun around in his chair so fast the two thought he was going to fly right out of it an run for his life.

"Oh! You're back. Well... we were fine without ya, just one thing though. Next time, please, please, please , pleeeeease take her with you!"

"I thought we were having a nice conversation, Joker. What's the matter?" Shepard teased.

She knew exactly what she was doing. Just a bit of fun at Joker's expense. She imagined her boys were smiling with their own amusement inside their helmets. However, they weren't smiling when they removed them. If a turian could look pale, Nihlus did. She left the chair and made her way over to him. He nuzzled her forehead. Sonya wrapped an arm around his narrow waist and walked away.

"I'll be right back." Garrus said and he moved to follow them.

"Sea ya!" Joker smiled, then cupped one hand around his mouth and huskily whispered; "Thank you!"

Garrus just shook his head. He liked Joker's sense of humor, most of the time, and he hadn't been there to be tortured by a pregnant Shepard, which he was sorry he missed. That would have been funny.

Nihlus sat on the sofa with his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the back of the couch. He pushed his feet against the edge of the immobile low table. His eyes were closed, his head rolled back. Sonya sat next to him. She'd brought him some tea from the dextro side of the cabinets in the kitchen and set it on the table. It remained untouched in the silence of the room. She waited patiently, just being there in case he needed her or wanted to talk. Garrus sat at the console on the desk on the upper level so as to also be available, but give them some privacy. Eventually Nihlus uncrossed his arms and snuck one around her waist, drawing her closer to him. She cradled her head between his chest and his shoulder at the gentle persuasion of his free hand. He wanted to feel her near, to hold her. It comforted him to comfort her, though she didn't need it as much. He stroked her cheek with is thumb for a few moments, then let his hand fall from her face to rest over the swell of her belly. He felt the child inside rollover and it make his mandible flutter. He'd felt it a few times before, shared the moment with her, just as this moment belonged only to themselves. A bonding moment. He turned his head to nuzzle her. Briefly he opened his eyes to look at her and watch the flesh move when the child moved. Yes, he had died, but he lived again because of her. Now he lived for the future that grew in her.


	19. Battle and Birth

Kryik ran up behind Joker's chair. Garrus threw himself into the gunner's seat.

"Where the _hell _were the alarms, EDI?" He demanded the AI.

"My sensors did not pick up on the Reaper approach."

"That's bad news." Garrus muttered and fired a shot that merely bounced off the Reaper's shields. "That too."

"Great..." Grumbled Joker. He pulled hard to starboard to avoid enemy fire.

"So they just dropped out of FTL on our door step?" Kryik almost shouted.

"Yeah, welcome to the party." Joker shot back.

"Where's Shepard?" Nihlus asked.

His eyes darted to Garrus expecting an answer.

"She wasn't feeling well over lunch, so I took her to the med-bay. She'll be fine. We have bigger problems."

"Right." Nihlus nodded.

He glared hard at the display readouts. The shield strength of the Reapers had increased, but the fire power had remained the same. There had to be a flaw.

"Joker, use the planet. Put it between the Reapers and as much of the armada as we can. EDI, run a full scan. I need a hole."

"Do you concur, Commander?" EDI asked Garrus.

It annoyed him that his orders were superceded by Vakarian's.

"Yeah, yeah. Busy. Do whatever he says." Garrus replied and fired.

He'd rather be the gunner than the Commander any day. More fun.

"Running scan." EDI told them.

Joker felt like he was playing dodge ball and the other team wasn't playing by the rules. The fingers of the ships each had their own canon and could focus individually on a target. Running through the constantly changing maze of death was a challenge. He loved it, until the ship dipped hard to port and shook violently under enemy fire.

"We've been hit!" He said, bringing up the damage report on the lower half of the screen. "Port side. Nothing critical, but our shields are at half. We can't take another hit."

"Then make sure we don't get hit!" Garrus shouted.

"Get Illium between us, Now!" Kryik ordered.

The ship shook hard. Shepard could hear the hull groaning. Flash backs to the destruction of the original Normandy threatened to raise her mind to panic. Chakwas waited for the ship to steady itself.

"Okay, this won't be easy." She told Shepard, "We won't be able to do a c-sec under these conditions. You're going to have to push."

"What!" Sonya shouted.

She nearly jumped out of the bed, but her legs were to weak to comply. She had been in the common washroom. Her bladder had needed emptied every ten minutes or so and she was, yet again, sitting on a steel throne when her water broke. The doors to the wash room had just hissed open as she ran to tell Garrus when the ship rocked with weapons fire. Garrus had run to her, one hand over hers against her belly. He would be needed at the guns, so she didn't tell him she was about to be in labor and simply told him to get her to the med-bay. He had done so with little question. There wasn't time. They were under attack. The labor pains started before she he had left her on the med-bed, but they had been minor compared to what she experienced now. She'd managed not to let the pain show until he'd gone. She felt as if her whole body was going to squeeze itself out of her skin. Every contraction was a ball of lightening in her gut, clinching with uncontrollable power. It would have been more comfortable to be trampled by a krogan.

"What about drugs? Give me drugs!" Sonya demeaned.

"There isn't time and there's no way to tell how it would affect the child. I'm sorry Shepard." Chakwas told her.

Jeron came rushing in the door just as Chakwas finished her sentence.

"How far?" He asked, quickly scrubbing up and donning the coat and gloves to deliver.

"Her contractions have increased rapidly. She's only a few seconds apart." Chakwas informed him.

She grabbed hold of the floor mounted bed when the Normandy pulled hard to one side and shuddered.

"I think we've just been hit! I have to get to the command deck!" Shepard said and started un-fastening the restraints to keep her on the bed.

"You're in no condition to command anything!" Chakwas shouted at her. "Now lay down and listen to me. You're in labor and apparently in denial. So just take deep breaths and try to relax."

Sonya did as she was told, shocked into obedience at the doctors sudden authoritative tone. Another contraction hit and she grit her teeth in pain.

"Dilation?" Jeron asked.

"Eleven centimeters!" Chakwas shouted back.

"Eleven?" Jeron ran across the room and peered between Shepard's raised knees.

Under ordinary circumstances she might have shot him, but with the pain that stabbed at her like daggers she decided she didn't care. The salarian's deep blue head appeared around the sheet covering her legs. His bronze ringed eyes were wide and stern.

"I need you to push, Captain. On my mark until I say 'rest'. Understand?" He instructed.

Sonya nodded desperately through clinched teeth. She could still see his speckled horns as he stood below her next to Chakwas. The elderly woman tried to give her a reassuring grin when he ship rocked again.

"Push!" Jeron ordered.

Sonya crunched into a ball, pushing as hard as she could all the while the salarian prompted her to keep pushing. She started groaning under the strain and kept up the pressure for as long as she could. She released without waiting for the order to rest.

"PUSH!" Jeron shouted.

She pushed.

"Rest. He's about to crown."

"That's it? After all that?" Sonya said, already exhausted.

Chakwas left the foot of the bed to hold her hand. The ship swerved hard to port.

"Push, push push!" Jeron ordered.

She crunched, squeezing the doctor's hand as hard as she could. The pressure she felt against her hips and the opening that was wider than it should have been was intense and possibly the most frightening thing she'd felt since dying. She felt as though the pain that tore through her would drive her mad being so similar to those of the cold and suffocation of space. She pushed and something did tear. She felt the warmth of blood and other fluids and a mass leave her body. Something caught inside her and the unmistakable feeling of foreign fingers entered her and unhooked the tiny spurs. Relief settled over her quickly, only to be replaced by the primal fear of not hearing her young crying.

"It's okay." Chakwas soothed. "It's okay."

Sucking sounds then a cry. She released the breath she was holding, but she couldn't move to see her child.

"Doctor?" She called.

The blue speckled horns came into her vision followed by dark, alien eyes and a creepy salarian smile.

"He's healthy and strong." Jeron told her and handed her the bundle of white blankets in his arms.

As her eyes fell upon the bare, rust colored carapace she could only think of one word.

"Beautiful." She breathed. "He's beautiful."


	20. Baby Kryik

The ship stayed steady and after a few more rumbling shots from the Normandy's fire banks the battle ceased. Sonya assumed victory, but wondered how many casualties they had earned during the fight. Chakwas and Jeron had made them both a concoction of vitamins and other nutrients to replenish their systems after labor and delivery. The baby's had immunization supplements as well. Sonya received hers through an I.V. drip while she fed her son with a specially adapted bottle. He accepted eagerly, his mouth much more playable than his father's mouths. She wondered if that was because he was new or if it was the human DNA in his make up. His eyes remained closed, but the skin of his throat was much peachier than she'd expected. His four long fingers held the bottle with tiny talons tipping them. She'd never seen anything so adorable Chakwas cleaned her up and prepared her for the visitors that would soon come to check her. It wasn't long before Nihlus arrived. His feet stopped short and his mandibles fluttered when the sight of his son in the arms of the mother met his eyes. He had missed the birth of his first born, but he'd made it possible by protecting his family.

Nihlus slowly made steps toward the bed as Garrus entered the room. Garrus hesitated then followed. As Nihlus neared her she smiled up at him from adoring her baby. He let her see the tears of joy that wet his eyes before he nuzzled her forehead and then the child's. He loved her more then than ever, for she had given him a son.

"I'm your father." He whispered to the boy. "I have much to show you."

It was strange to touch one so young. To be bound to him as his father. He stood and glanced at before gazing upon his strong and ever more lovely mate. He wished he could say more. Something like 'welcome to the galaxy', but it wasn't a welcoming place to be born to just yet. It would be the greatest gift he could give his son and he was determined to do so.

Sonya waited for Garrus to join them. He looked on the child with as much fascination and wonder as he did love. It was instant in his eyes, almost as if the child had been his own.

"Isn't he beautiful?" She said.

"Yes, he is." Nihlus answered. "As beautiful as his mother."

He pressed his mouth to her lips to 'kiss' her.

"He's got four fingers." Garrus said, interested, as if he were talking about a flora mutation.

"It must be the human DNA." Sonya replied and pulled back the bottom of the blanket. "He has three toes too!" She said excitedly.

"He's perfect." Nihlus told her. His mandibles spread in a wide grin. Not only did he have a life mate who loved him, but he had a child. These were things turians born into being outcasts did not typically archive.

Dr. Chakwas walked over to check on Sonya's vitals as well as the babies. She smiled kindly up at the turian father.

"You should be very proud. He is the only one of his kind! It is amazing. Have you chosen a name for him?"

"We're still deciding." Sonya answered.

"I see. Well, take your time. His is a name that will be well known."

"No pressure." Garrus mocked.

"I'll leave you and your family with the baby." Chakwas nodded to Sonya and quietly went over to her desk.

Sonya looked up at the two of them. Nihlus was beaming and proud. Garrus stood silently by. He wasn't the father. It would take him time to accept that, but he was involved. He was a friend to both of them. Didn't that make him some kind of 'uncle' in human culture? Garrus grinned a little at the thought He looked down at the child and his rust colored face and saw a small Nihlus in her arms nursing the bottle with an unusually pliable mouth and four fingers. He saw her skin on his neck and the darker bronze of Nihlus' colors darkening the back of the neck and fading over the sides.

"Well, his middle name is David." Sonya said decidedly.

Nihlus could see she was adamant about that. He didn't really have a problem with it, he was her 'father'.

"Are you in agreement with Sashus?" Nihlus asked her.

Many long discussions and arguments had taken them many different directions. The most recent victor was 'Sashus'.

Sonya nodded her agreement and smiled. The bottle emptied as the name was spoken for the first time. Sonya gently removed the bottle and placed it on the sheets next to her. She lifted Sashus to her shoulder to burp him. His tiny fingers found her hair and grasped it firmly in his many fingers. He smelled her, even as a new born, learning her scent as 'mother'.

"Do you want to hold him?" Sonya asked her mate.

Nihlus reached out, eager to hold his son. Feeling how light and helpless Sashus was in his arms was an indescribable feeling. He felt strong and proud, but also humbled. The love that connected him to the babe unconditionally was even more powerful than his love for Sonya, and he had died for her. What more would he do for this young one that should not have been and was? A single tear escaped his eye to trail down his metallic cheek.

"Would you like to hold him?" Sonya asked Garrus.

He looked at her suddenly, wide eyed and nervous. He'd never held an infant before.

"I, uh... I'm okay. I don't..." Garrus shook his head, looking at the small, fragile being that wiggled in the blanket.

"Hold the child, Vakarian." Nihlus ordered with pride, and passed the yawning babe carefully to Garrus' reluctantly waiting arms.

Garrus accepted Sashus from Nihlus' arms with ease. It was nerve racking. He was afraid he would break him accidentally or drop him. When Sashus yawed Garrus smiled for the first time at his 'nephew'. In a way it was his chance to be a better role model than his father was to him. It pained him to think of his father's loss, but he would honor him by being this little one's 'uncle' and helping to raise him up to be a great turian.

"Hello, Sashus." He said.

He smiled when the infant curled into him at the vibration of his voice.

"You have a strong mother." He told the babe that was lulled to sleep by his words and smiled up at Sonya. "I'll teach you how to make her laugh."

Sonya grinned then, and the first of her tears escaped her. They were tears of joy as well as pain. Garrus was a good man. In some ways she lamented not being with him, but Nihlus was something that was almost herself in her bond with him. She couldn't be with anyone else while he was still with her.

Nihlus stepped aside to allow Garrus to return the boy to his mother. He didn't think he could love anyone or anything as much as he did Sonya and his son. He had loved his family because they were family and his mother was kind, but this was a family he had chosen and created. Nothing meant more.

* * *

special thanks to everyone who submitted ideas! It was a hard choice and I came up with many more due to your inspirations! Thanks so much everyone, and thank you for reading! Keep commenting, it really helps!


	21. Enduring Love

The Normandy continued to remain with the armada. Sashus was secured in the med-bay with the doctors during battles to keep him safe. Special mixtures had to be made everyday to feed him because there was no safe way to know how the little hybrid would react to the milk made by Sonya's body. They did not wish to risk a severe allergic reaction. Nihlus often rose in the night with the waking babe and he and Shepard took the command deck in shifts. The day Sashus opened his eyes the tree of them lay next to each other with the baby in the middle. Sonya had just finished feeding him a bottle when his dark copper lids blinked open revealing eyes that were dark as night and shimmered with emerald when the light caught in them. For the first time Sashus saw the faces that went with the scents of his parents and he smiled with tiny wide mandibles and upturned mouth.

* * *

The war raged on and the babe grew into a child that wandered about the ship with softly tapping feet under many watchful eyes. Sonya saved images of the boy to one day show to David. The only messages she received as the years went by were words she so often read with growing doubt. 'We are safe.' Cerberus eventually contacted the armada through Miranda. TIM sent new information, schematics for new technologies to help in the fight against the Reapers, provided ships and soldiers to fly them and occasionally inquired after Shepard's health and the Normandy. She assumed he wanted to make sure his investments were still safe and sound if he should ever need them in the future. It made her sick to her stomach when she looked into the iridescent dark eyes of her son. Sashus was nearly four years old when the questions came.

"Mamma, why do the big ships hit us?" He asked as she sat playing blocks with him.

"I don't know, baby." She said and lowered her eyes to the grey carpet.

"Can I paint my face like poppa's?"

His brow lifted in excitement and he drew over his carapace with his finger mimicking the oval designs of his father.

"Yes, when you're older. And your's will be unlike anyone else's. You are unique."

It always made him smile when she told him how special he was, that it was why he was different than momma or poppa and yet also like them. She would tell him that he was the only one like him because poppa and momma loved each other so strongly that he was created. Those were the days that he ran to meet his father at the door with hugs and strange kisses that had become as familiar as his own skin.

Nihlus and Sonya stood alone in the darkened corridor between the Loft and the elevator. Her back was to the wall and her legs were wrapped around him, hooked over his hips. They made love against the cold, hard steel in the quiet of the night. They kept their moans and purrs low so as not to wake the boy. They so rarely got time to themselves anymore. He loved her slow and hard, drawing forth her orgasm from her like water from a well. He bit her neck to quell her cries when he penetrated her more deeply. He wrapped an arm around her waist and held her close to breath her in, pressing his forehead to hers. He tangled his free talons in her hair as he left his seed deep within her. There was no moss here, but he held a secret hope for more children. Perhaps a daughter.

* * *

"Poppa?"

"Yes, little one?"

"Why do you and me and uncle Garrus look different from everyone else on the ship?"

"Because we are from a different world."

"Then why are you with momma if she is not like us?"

"... Because I love her."

"You couldn't find one like you to love?"

"I chose to love your momma."

"Why?"

"You're momma loved me."

"People like us didn't love you?"

"A few did, but it wasn't the same. Why are you asking these questions?"

"Because... I don't know."

"I think you do. It's okay."

"Momma says I'm you-neek and I should be proud, but I don't feel proud poppa. I just feel different. There is no one like me. There are no other kids here. I don't even look like you or momma or uncle Garrus."

"You look like you. You are momma and I together and we love you, Sashus."

"Will I be a poppa some day?"

"Of course!"

"Will she love me like momma loves you?"

"If she loves you she will love you for who you are, just like your momma loves me."

"Why is my blood purple?"

"...Did you get hurt?"

"I lost a tooth, see..."

"Ah..."

"But my blood didn't look like yours or momma's"

"You are made of both of us, little one. Red and blue make purple."

"Does momma love uncle Garrus like she loves you?"

"... No. She loves us very differently. Why do you ask this question?"

"Because you don't make her laugh like uncle does."

"... Enough questions for tonight. It's time for bed."

"Okay... poppa?"

"Yes..."

"I love you."

"I love you too, son."

* * *

Nihlus and Sonya sat on the bed together. They had converted the tanks into a small room for Sashus, who was already fast asleep. Mostly it was a bed and a place to keep the toys. They still kept him in the med-bay during battles. Nihlus leaned in to Sonya and whispered softly against her ear.

"I love you."

Sonya grinned. His breath tickled her neck.

"I know." She whispered back.

He slipped his arms around her and down her smooth skin to her hands holding the data pad. He nuzzled her neck and briefly flicked his tongue behind her ear.

"Nihlus..." She giggled, and struggled to keep her voice down.

He took the data pad from her fingers and tossed it over the bed. It landed with a soft 'plop' on the floor.

"I need to read that." She protested and went to reach for it.

She was surprised when he held her back and pinned her to the bed. He nipped at the skin on her neck.

"Nihlus, what are you doing?" She whispered angrily.

He knew Garrus was a more forceful lover. Ever since the questions he wondered if... No. He shook his head. She would never do that to him, would she?

"Can't I be a little aggressive from time to time?" He asked. He wanted to ask if that was something only Garrus was allowed to do, but he bit back the venomous words.

"I suppose, but..."

Her eyes flicked to the floor, then to Nihlus' piercing eyes.

"What's bothering you?" She asked softly and nuzzled him.

Nihlus drew back, surprised that she knew him so well. He kept his darker side from her as much as possible. It wasn't who he really was. It was the part that Saren had corrupted.

"I... nothing."

He rolled off and pretended to lay down for sleep. It did't fool her. She rolled over and put a warm hand on his arm.

"Nihlus, honey..."

"Do you ever regret leaving Garrus for me?" He asked suddenly. He kept his eyes on the clock as her hand withdrew.

"What makes you ask such a question? Of course not."

It was a lie. They both knew it.

"Sashus has noticed things... differences in your relationship with Vakarian that I do not provide." He told her.

He heard her sight.

"There are some things... we were together 2 or 3 years. I can't erase that. But he's not the father of my son. You are."

Her hand returned to his arm. He felt her lips press against the skin along side his neck.

"I wouldn't erase that." She whispered.

He rolled over and took her in his arms. She cuddled against him and wet his throat with soft kisses. He intended to make love to her, but constant battles, hiding and a young turian child kept them both to tired to care most nights.

* * *

So little of the armada was left. So many had died. Tali, Kal'Reager and their daughter Malta had all died in a battle two years prior. The Council had been discovered by the Reapers. Only the Turian and Anderson escaped. They now lived on the Normandy. The turian Councillor did his best to ignore the 'abomination' that roamed the halls and plagued him with questions he tried not to hear. It was early morning when such a situation arose. The turian Councillor sat down to breakfast when the young boy sat down across from him. The Councillor did not look up from him bowl. Sashus sat quietly for a time and the Councillor quietly ignored him. The peace didn't last long.

"How old are you?" Sashus asked politely.

The Councillor ignored him.

"How long have you been on the Council?" Sashus tried again. Still no answer.

"Do you like being a Councillor?" Sashus paused between questions for an answer he probably wouldn't get. "How many more Reapers do you think there are left? Why didn't you want to believe they were coming? What will you do if you survive this?"

The turian Councillor was growing impatient and loosing his appetite having to listen to the youngster drivel on. Even _it's_ voice was an abomination in his ears. It reverberated as a true turian's would but the separation of tones was amplified. The variations were greater than the should have been. And it smelled _wrong_. Too human, too much like flesh and human musk. The dark eyes were disturbing to him. Like a demon inhabited the body.

"I know why you don't like me." Sashus stated.

The Councillor still did not look at him.

"You don't like my mother. You respect my father for his accomplishments, but he's an outsider. Even with so many dead you cling to unimportant things. I don't understand why you have a problem with an interspecies relationship. You were with the asari..."

The turian Councillor looked up sharply then, rage and pain in his eyes.

"How dare you suggest..."

But his own anger cut off his words and the shoved is bowl at the boy and left the table. Stubborn, Sashus followed him.

"You should be proud, not ashamed. Why does it make you angry? Why do I make you angry? Is it because I'm part human? Or is it because my momma is Shepard?"

The Councillor turned on his heals and grabbed the boy by the soft leathery skin of his throat with a growl. The boy narrowed his eyes, but did not cry out or struggle, even as the elder's talons dug into his flesh and drew purple droplets. There were no eyes that day.

"You listen to me. You are a _depravity_. You are an _accident_. You never should have happened. Just look at you! Half human and half turian. Belonging to both and being neither. You are disgusting, vial, and I would end you myself if I did not thing you would be useful as a target to aid the survival of the rest of us. You are nothing but a skin sack of alien organs that should repulse itself so violently that you explode to defile the walls. _Vorcha _are more worthy than you of life."

He threw the boy to the floor and stared to walk away. Sashus sat up, holding his neck and coughing up blood. He called out to the Councillor. His words stopped him cold.

"I am no different than any offspring of an asari and an alien. Does it upset you because you're jealous that you never had a child with her? Do you resent the love my parents share? You are a hypocrite. It should have been you that died!"

The turian Councillor did not turn around to face the child who knew too much. His eyes watered. His voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes, you are right about that. It should have been me."

The Councillor went to his room. He had tried to save her, and the child within. He had her hand in his as they ran from the collapsing caverns. When the rocks fell from the ceiling, he pulled her out of the way, but not far enough. The last formation to drop fell on her, cutting open his arm and ripping her hand from him. She died instantly. Small mercy.

* * *

Anderson loved the boy as he loved Sonya, as if he were his own flesh and blood. His own son, Jason, had died in the first of the attacks. It helped to ease the pain to have Sashus, though the boy had many questions he couldn't answer.

"Grand-papa?" Sashus looked up into the dark face that did not look like his mothers.

"Yes?"

"Why are you so different from momma?"

"Well, I sort of adopted her. She had no parents as a child."

"Then were did she come from?"

"We don't know for sure. But she's here now, and that's what matters."

"I suppose."

David looks down at the boy, confused and lost in a dieing galaxy, the only one of his kind and seeking answers. He put a hand on his shoulder.

"Common, I have some old albums we can look at." He smiled.

The boy looked up at him and grinned in his own way and shook his head with excitement.

* * *

Occasionally Nihlus and Garrus would hold a spar to release the anxiety they both felt. Each had grown tired of the life style of running, hiding and fighting. So they took out their frustrations on each other.

Nihlus, Garrus, Sonya, David and Sashus sat around the table in the mess. The turian Councillor passed by. His eyes met the strange dark ones of the boy for a moment, then he left the room. Sashus never told anyone about the incident. No one noticed the tiny marks. The minor punctures had healed quickly with no scars. It had been two years since anyone had seen a Reaper. What was left of the armada was returning to the Citadel. The rebuilding process would take decades. Many would travel between the Citadel and their home world. For Shepard's family that meant two different places. Earth and Palavan, though Nihlus had never seen his home world. The small mercenary base where he was born no longer existed. Neither society would be willing to accept them as they were or their son. It left them in a hard place. They could not continue to seclude their son on a ship. He needed to set foot on earth and sand, feel the sun on his face and breath wind. He needed to see where his roots lay.

Sashus was still too young, but his parents allowed him to tattoo his face. He designed it himself in honor of the Normandy. She was his home, and his paint should represent chose white to show up best on his darker plates and because it was the color of the Normandy as well as his fathers paint. He took elements from his father's design, the long line along the fringe and oval shape on the forehead, and something all his own on his cheeks and along his mandibles. Similarly shaped lines to blend with the design from Nihlus. He bore the tattooing ritual well and wore his paint proudly on the shattered streets of Earth and along the debris littered white sands of Palavan. No one knew what to make of the new marks until they saw his family behind him, armored and welding powerful weapons. Finally they returned to the Normandy. Sashus had enjoyed being planet side, but the Normandy was home.

A few nights after their return he came and sat on the edge of his parents bed and looked at them as they waited patiently for him to speak his mind as he often did.

"What is it, son?" Nihlus prodded after a few moments.

"I just wanted so say 'thanks' for taking me home, to Earth and Palavan I mean. I'm glad I'm different, that we are different, now that I've seen others that are part of me. I took for granted the love that we share. I'm glad that my grandfather is a Councillor for humans and that my mother is the first human Spectre. I'm proud that I have a father that has accomplished so much starting as an outcast. You destroyed the last of the Reapers so everyone can go home and rebuild. I wanted you to know that I love both of you very much."

Sashus got up and nudged foreheads with each of his parents, pausing to kiss his mother's cheek. It wouldn't be the last time, but as he grew into a teenager and found his own path in life, he would distance himself from his parents as all children must. But he never denied them and stood up proudly in the face of ridicule for his differences that proved many times to make him superior others. That night he went to bed with dreams of the galaxy that had just opened up to him because of his momma and poppa. When he had shut the door to his own loft Nihlus and Sonya smiled at each other..

"Well, I guess we didn't do so bad after all." Sonya smirked.

"Indeed."

Nihlus nodded and nuzzled her. He made love to her that night in their bed that night as they always had, but with a new level of intimacy that wasn't only physical. They would continue to do so for years to come as the Normandy patrolled Citadel space during reconstruction. No matter the struggles of the day, Nihlus could always find peace in her arms.

The galaxy was forever free of the Reapers. The family was whole and happy. They lived to see other turian/human relationships blossom and ideals to change. They saw the Citadel take shape and they saw their son marry a good turian woman and give them grand children. All of them with four fingers, three toes and more playable mouths. Sashus would remain the only turian to have a belly button or iridescent black eyes for generations. Sonya buried her 'father' on Earth near his birth place in England. A few years later Nihlus, Garrus and Sashus with his wife and children buried Sonya beside him. The newly formed parliament of Palavan denied Nihlus' request to bury her there because she was not turian. Some ideals would take more time to change. By that time the Normandy had been retired and been placed in a small museum on the Citadel in honor of Shepard. Nihlus had pushed the Council for years before they relented to the honor. Eventually Nihlus died as well as the turian Councillor before the 'New Citadel' had been completed. Neither ever loved another. Garrus lived a quieter life with his turian life mate, Novea, who he had met again and married several years after Sonya's death. He thought of his friend and once life mate often and missed her. He hoped she was happy wherever her spirit lingered. Something told him she was, and that she was not alone. He did not live to see his grand children, but his sons and daughters told his story to their children to honor him.

* * *

Memory

"Momma?"

"Yes, dear heart?"

"I love you."

"Aw, sweetie, momma loves you too!"

"Can we throw spit balls at Joker today?"

Sonya laughs.

"Sure, you get the straws and we'll both provide the spit!"

Sashus giggles and runs off to fetch the toy, his little feet petter patter softly on the grey carpet. Nihlus pauses to nuzzle her. She kisses his mouth and they grin at each other. His hand is warm on her shoulder.


End file.
